chapter 17 <3

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Thursday, September 17th
Upper East Side, NYC
10:45 AM

It was the morning of the funeral & I was checking over my clothes while I waited for Roddy to finish up his business call

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It was the morning of the funeral & I was checking over my clothes while I waited for Roddy to finish up his business call. If I'm being real honest, I didn't even wanna go. I was going only because Roddy asked me to.

As I finished going through my bag Roddy came out of his office. "You ready to go mama?" He asked me as he kissed me on his cheek. "Hell no but you said I have to so..." I said rolling my eyes. "Lemme grab my shades & then we can go." I yelled as I ran into his room. I grabbed my shades & ran back to get my bag. Roddy locked the doors & held onto my hand as we walked down the hall.

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45 minutes later, we arrived at the funeral. Parking up the block he grabbed my hand as we began to walk up. Standing out front of the church was a big sign with my mother's face on it "In Loving Memory of Lynette Washington. Forever Loved." By who? Cause it wasn't me.

Walking into the funeral Roddy & I both put our shades on walking to the middle of the church. A few of my mother's sisters tried to talk to me but if I was keeping it a band, I wasn't listen to shit that they fake asses said. They knew what happened between me & my mom & let her physically & verbally abuse me over it. The only aunt who gave a fuck about me stayed her ass home just like I wish I did. I made sure to get her number from one of my other aunts though.

I honestly didn't pay attention to any of the funeral until it was time to see the body & say our final words cause whew did I have some shit to say. As we walked up to the body, I just stood there for a second & stared. My mother was beautiful.

I had really loved her but what she did was fucked up. How do you believe your stepchild over your own & then blame her for something that happened to her as a child? Before I knew it I felt a few tears running down my eyes. I quickly wiped them & went to sit back down.

When it was time to say our final words Roddy stood with me but I quickly stopped him. "I got this bae." I said kissing him on the forehead. I walked up to the front & waited my turn. Once it came I stood there with a smile & took off my shades.

"Umm. If I'm being honest...I didn't even wanna come today but my boyfriend told me that I should so I did. I don't even know what to say about this lady. I loved her for a good part of my life & she was a good mom. But that shit quickly ended;" I paused to laugh.

"This lady physically & verbally abused me over some shit I had no control over as a child. She really chose the word of a child who wasn't hers than her own flesh & blood. Why the fuck would I lie about being molested at 9? And the worst part is, all of you fake motherfuckers let her abuse me. Y'all knew it was going on & didn't say shit. She kept my father from me for most of my life & treated me bad as fuck.

And if I'm being honest. Her deadbeat ass should've died a long time ago instead of my dad cause he was a better parent to me for less than 5 years than she ever was my whole life." I stopped to walk away as everybody looked shocked but stopped & went back to the microphone.

"And god forgive me. But respectfully, all of yall could suck a dick & die." I laughed placing my shades back on my face. As I walked back to where Roddy was sitting, I applied lipgloss laughing at everybody who was staring at me. "Boo bitch." I laughed at one of my aunts as I grabbed Roddy's hand & walked out.

"Yall enjoy the funeral!" Roddy yelled out & waved as we walked out the church. I felt good as fuck. Fuck that girl & her husband & his nasty ass son. I hope my daddy beat her ass when he see her in heaven. If her evil ass even makes it there 😆! Rot in hell bitch!

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Sunday, October 4th
Greenwood Cemetery
8:49 PM

It was too weeks later & the anniversary of my daddy's death. I sat on a blanket top of his grave, facing his headstone with a tear streaked face as Roddy held on to me. I had been here all day crying. I tried to get Roddy to stay home cause I didn't want him to deal with my like this but he insisted on coming.

I missed my daddy so much...

After 10 more minutes I consoled myself because I knew he would be upset if I was crying right now. I could hear him in my head now "Girl what you crying for? Yeen dead & Yeen broke so cut it out. I love you & it's gone be ok Mama. Daddy's got you forever." I held onto his head stone & looked down.

"Can I get a second so I can talk to him please?" I asked Roddy. "Of course mama I'll be in the car if you need me." He said walking away.

"Hey daddy...I miss you," I spoke as I felt tear begin to drop again. "I hope I'm making you proud. I know I don't always make the best decisions or do things the right way but I'm still tryna learn." I paused for a second. "Daddy why you had to leave me so early? You know I still need you. I don't even know what I'm doing out here. You're all I had. I'm just so lost without you daddy. I know you didn't mean to go but I'm still sad." I said as a few more tears ran down my face. "I know if you was here you'd already be mad at me for being here all day & would be telling me to get my ass home so I'm gonna leave soon I promise. I just wanna thank you for sending Roddy to me.

I see so many of your qualities in him it's crazy. When I'm around him I feel so safe & loved daddy it's crazy. You're really my guardian angel because how the freak did this happen? He's literally my perfect match...you did a good job picking him for me daddy. I love you." I finished up as I kissed his headstone placing down the flowers I bought him.

I picked up the blanket I was sitting on & walked back to the car wiping my eyes. "You ok baby?" Roddy asked me as I climbed into the passenger seat. "Yea, I think so." I said leaning over to kiss him. "Thank you..." I whispered to him. "For what?" He asked me looking confused as he pulled off towards the exit.

"For being here you've dealt with so much with me already when you didn't even have to. I know it's a lot that comes with being with me ALREADY. You know it's not too late to run for the hills right?" I asked him. "I'm not running nowhere Ma. This my job now, Ima stick by you through everything. We in this for life." He said grabbing my hand & kissing it.

And that's when I realized. He was sent to me by my daddy to watch over me since he couldn't. I just looked up into the sky. Thank you daddy. I thought to myself.

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AN: Hey yall. so this was just a short lil chapter 😭 I just wanted yall to see how she felt abt Roddy deep down & stuff. And the funeral was funny idc what nobody say. Let her mother rest in piss 😘. Anywayssss. Should I turn this book up some? Yall wanna see some drama? Should I kill somebody?

I'm tryna figure out if I want this to be that type of book or not cause a lot of wattpad stories ultimately have the same plot & ending soooo. lmk what yall wanna see. I'll update again in a few days. I'm tryna work on my other book too but I been having writers block like a bitchhhhhh. See yall onna next chapter though 💙.

April 1st, 2021.

Hold Me Down (Roddy Ricch) 🔐Where stories live. Discover now