Kami-Sama No Ai {BL}

Chapter 80 - Tired

Since that day had passed Azuki had occupied himself completely in work. Whether it was grunt work, miscellaneous meetings or on occasion killing people, he had undertaken it but completed it all too easy. Most of the time he literally wouldn't sleep for days on end, not because he couldn't. No, it was because he found his mind a nuisance, especially when he closed his eyes.

Again, Azuki checked his phone, it was probably the fifteenth time in the last hour. But once again he was briefly left with disappointment as it came up blank.

At this very moment was he returning, 'home' itself was a place he now loathed returning to. Precisely because his love, Mikage, was both present and not at the same time. Meaning where his physical form lay bedridden, his spiritual form remained stagnant.

For the first time in months he had returned, just beyond the door was Mikage. He hesitated before pushing it open with more strength than necessary. There was a bang that startled an older lady to look upwards from her book at him. But before anything, he saw his partner as quiet as a stone and more mortal than anything.

The lady nodded silently in polite understanding, then left the two alone, after bowing politely to each Azuki and Mikage.

"I'm sorry for being away for so long", he kissed Mikage's forehead gently. Azuki gazed for a long time at Mikage, the tubes connected to him are to keep him alive.

Every dignity as a God was stripped away, he no longer had control over the most basic aspects of being a human. He needed help to breathe, eat, shit and piss. Things he alone should have control over was now being dictated by machines and other people.

"It so hard seeing you in such a state", he buried his head onto Mikage's chest. "But I'm back now, I need you more than anything". He sat up gently interlocked his fingers in Mikage's. "So, wake up soon, or I'll get lonely".

His eyes slowly rimmed with red but nothing came out, in fact, he refused to let anything out.

The old lady had returned and she knocked at the door. It took him a moment to realise the day had shifted and the sky was now dark. He'd just been detailing all the tumultuous happenings around the world to Mikage, perhaps he talked for too long.

He reluctantly parted from Mikage, "I'll be back soon" he said and left the room. He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand as he sniffed. "You may go in".

The older lady nodded as she smiled gently toward him. As soon as the door shut again behind him, Azuki slowly slid down the door as his legs grew weary.

Mikage was still present but weaker than ever, his soul was a simple fraction of that compared to a healthy human. If described visually, it was like pieces of golden dust that broke from his soul floating in the air, then dissipating just as quickly. Mikage's deteriorating condition had inexplicably gotten much worse.

He had tried many a solution, in which he had thought at the very least would rouse Mikage. But it didn't take long for him to realise the futility in his confidence. His solutions each failed, so how could he even think of leaving when his love was held prisoner in his own mortal form.

Azuki buried his face in his palms, his chest squeezed fiercely until he heaved a heavy breath. It was like dealing with a bleeding wound, but slower and with few to nought solutions.
One solution being someone with compatibility and enough skill to share their essence; with the intention of healing the soul, the most intricate mechanism known to a God.

Even so, unfortunately, Mikage was entirely one-of-a-kind. Even If Azuki did a single thing to help him, it would only stress the wound and help it bleed faster. On the other hand, left alone it would only ooze blood until the person dies, or worse their existence completely perishes.