Please Forget About Me

10

Maya's eating journal was one of her most valuable possessions. It had a pastel pink color and it contains very detailed notes about her food habits. She started it six months ago when she decided to lose weight and the more control she had over her eating the more empowered she felt to do more. It gave her a sense of control, a sense of purpose, and perhaps most importantly it was a way to hurt herself that was unnoticeable.

There were times when she felt like she doesn't deserve food. She felt disgusted with herself, with her body.

Every part of her had an imperfection she wasn't able to fix. Perhaps the most imperfect of them all was her brain it just didn't seem to work right, everything she started on doing she saw as a failure. She hated the way she looks, the way she talks, the way she behaves towards people around her, and even the way she treats herself she hated.

When she was focusing on writing when she monitored what she ate during the day it was something that let her forget about the rest of the world and her problems. In this little world of calories and diets, she has found her purpose it was just regrettable how destructive it was. Well... there was no one to help her and even if she sometimes felt like help would be nice at the end she would never ask for it. 

Never.

Maya reported there how many calories she ate during each meal. Later she should sum it up to see how much she ate in a week or a month. She would record her diets, diet plans and give herself grades on how she was doing so far. Each day she had to puke after she uncontrollably started eating like a pig has been graded with big red F. She also didn't bother to write anything else on that days because there was nothing she could be proud of, she felt nothing but shame.

Usually, she would fill up her calorie intake when she was already in bed and later hide her journal under the bed to make sure no one would find it. Today for some stupid reason she was filling it up while walking down the stairs until she hit a hard wall that was her third oldest brother - Alessio. The one who doesn't speak and doesn't care.

The least approachable one.

He didn't look happy with the collision and his bored, cold eyes shifted from her and rested on the pink notebook that was now laying on the ground.

He gracefully lifted it and the Maya's prayers for him to not look at the contents were left unanswered as his eyes stopped at the page it was opened at.

"What is this?" He asked in a severe voice.

His twin would probably yell, he was different. A type of person who got quieter the moment their temper was rising.

His calm, quiet but no less intimidating. Alessio's behavior at the moment reminded her Salvatore a bit too much for her liking.

"I- I- can I have this back?" Maya asked looking hopefully at the notebook. She couldn't figure out how to answer him. Her mind was blank and she couldn't figure out any coherent excuse at the moment.

He looked at her for a long moment and there was something about his gaze that sent an array of chills down her spine.

"No. I think I will keep it" Alessio said and passed her by without uttering another word.

Wait, that was it? What just happened?

"You can't keep it this is my property," she said angrily, Alessio stared back at her completely unimpressed with his outburst"

"Watch me," he said simply and walked away.
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The Friday and Saturday went on peacefully so Maya assumed that maybe she has some time to figure out how to convince Alessio to keep his mouth shut. She had lost hope that she will ever have the notebook back. There was no way she would steal it from Alessio's room but at least she could hope that as the brother who showed absolutely no interest in her since she arrived he will be quiet as long as she will offer him something in return, she just hasn't figured out what could she possibly give him that would have any value in his eyes.

Sunday was a day of mandatory dinner. It meant all the brothers and Maya were to be present, no excuses accepted. The one person exempted from this rule was Salvatore but Maya had yet to witness him skip the Sunday dinner.

It started very pleasantly. Housekeeper prepared delicious lasagna and there was homemade cannoli for dessert. Maya usually took a small portion for herself and busied herself with smearing the food all over her plate while from time to time she would take a small bite.

She did not notice suspicious glances from her brothers.

Suddenly everyone's attention shifted to Simon as he started speaking.

"I bought tickets to Pittsburg today. I will be going next weekend" Simon started the conversation in a light voice but Maya could sense a hint of sadness in it.

Simon would be going to Pittsburg? Why? Did he want to see mom? Maya just realized that she must've left when Simon was a child, did he even remember how she looks like?

Gianni suddenly got very interested in looking at his plate, Diego's eyes darkened and Alessio just lifted his calculating gaze to see his younger brother.

"Are you sure about this?" Alessio asked and there was a hint of protectiveness in his normally indifferent voice.

"Yes, I'm sure" Simon confirmed.

"Can I go with you?" Maya asked "I would like to see mom" she added desperately

"This time you will stay at home" Salvatore responded

"Why?" Maya asked angrily, she looked at Salvatore and he as always was calm and collected while she was fuming.

"Because I said so," he said simply "finish your meal Maya" he instructed.

"I've lost my appetite," she said in a snappish tone of voice.

Salvatore lifted his gaze from his plate and looked at his younger sister with a cold expression.

Then, in no hurry, he reached for a briefcase that was resting on the leg of his chair.

Little did Maya know that this dinner was about to become far more unpleasant than it already was.

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I'm writing this instead of sleeping. Pray for me?
Or leave a comment? Whichever one you prefer! <3