I laughed and rubbed my hand through my hair, smiling at Melissa.
"Yeah. I'm a field agent for counter terrorism. Going on 7 years, now."
Melissa nodded and Peter spoke up, voicing everyone's thoughts.
"It makes sense. Really, who wouldn't want to join counter terrorism after experiencing an attack."
I nodded at Peter, thankful for his logic. They were all being very understanding, I had feared that they would react horribly to my job.
"That explains it."
I looked over at Lydia and raised a brow in question, something I'd learned from Derek.
"Explains what?"
She shook her head, as if she were dismissing something.'
"I was drawn to you when you arrived. It made me want to scream. But what you've said explains it."
She reached out to touch my face but I flinched back slightly.
"Trust me Lyds, you don't want to see what I've done. My job's made me do some really bad things."
She nodded.
"I know, and I won't like it, but I want to see. I need to see what you've been through."
I nodded and sighed unsurely as she cupped my face between her hands.
She gasped and her eyes flew open in shock, becoming completely still, as she watched my memories of all the people I've killed over the years. I also saw them, flashing quickly through my mind's eye. I thought about the information to do with each kill and she nodded that she was getting it as well.
We stood like that, for a few minutes, while she listened to the briefs and Kennedy's orders for each case to do with a kill.
When she pulled away, she looked at me unsurely.
"I was right. I didn't like what I saw. But," she held up her hand to stop me from speaking, "I understand. I heard that woman's orders. I heard what those people had done and I know that what you do was bad. But just because you do bad things, that doesn't make you a bad person."
I smiled and pulled her into a hug, relieved.
"Thank you, Lyds."
She nodded and hugged me back.
"I also caught glimpses of that day on the beach. The memory must have been fresh in your mind, I'm sorry for your loss. She looked beautiful."
I smiled at Lydia and pulled away, nodding.
"I kind of wish that I had your powers. Not for finding the dead and stuff. But for seeing memories in things. Then I could see what she looked like, what happened."
We looked over at Allison and she shrugged.
"What? Is everyone telling me that they're not the slightest bit curious? The news showed us images of blood in sand and upset people giving interviews. It's nothing to go on. I actually feel bad for not understanding."
She spoke surely, giving me an apologetic look.
I frowned at my own fleeting idea, before deciding 'what the hell, might as well do it. She literally just asked for it, anyway.'
"You want to see it?"
Allison looked at me with confusion, as did the rest.
"See it? As in, see what happened on the beach? How would you even do that?"
I looked at the, relatively new, TV on the wall and pulled out my phone.
"Part of my training with the CIA. I had to speak to the guy that was training me without getting riled up. It's the number one rule. Never let your emotions compromise you."
I hold up my phone to the group and point at the TV.
"I can show you what happened. They got the footage of it from cameras all around the area. They made me watch Katrina's death on repeat, until it stopped affecting me. Or rather, until I stopped outwardly reacting to it."
Kira gasped in outrage.
"That's barbaric!"
I laughed humourlessly, "maybe it is, but it worked. The guy that I went after on my very first mission mentioned Katrina and I was so close to just falling for it. But I remembered my training and then I didn't, and we managed to get him in the end."
Kira nodded, but still refuted, "that doesn't make it right."
"You're right, it doesn't. But I'd rather be forced to deal with the trauma than being allowed to just bury my head in the sand."
I turned on the TV and linked it to my phone, opening my gallery and scrolling to find the video. I had a lot of different files in my phone, each containing pictures of my family, the twins, the pack and Katrina.
I got near the bottom of the list of 'albums' and opened the one marked 'D-Day'.
The video came up on the screen and everyone turned to watch, silently.
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