Being Shot

P h o t o #26 - A Slightly Frilly Apron

P h o t o #26 - A. Slightly Frilly Apron

~Emma's POV~

Breathe. In through the nose, and out through the mouth. I repeated this mantra in my head over and over again as I stared at myself in the mirror of a bathroom I had found myself running into.

My face was still flushed, my hands clammy, my legs shaking ever so slightly. I had to calm myself down. I couldn't let anymore people see me like this.

The bag of pills were in my tight, yet slippery grip. I wished I could just get rid of the bag. Get rid of it's contents. But I knew I couldn't. I had yet to take them, and the effects of the two I took this morning were wearing off. I knew this, because my head began to cloud, my hands began to twitch, my stomach felt as if it would jump right out of my body.

This feeling was so familiar, that when I began to feel it earlier when I heard the little plinking noise of pills falling from my pocket, I wasn't surprised at all.

I clasped my hands together, trying to keep them from reaching out to the faucet, trying to keep myself from scrubbing my hands raw like I used to.

I gave in. After washing my hands six times, I moved my attention away for just enough time to pop two pills into my mouth.

After gulping them down, I felt relief. Sure they were fast acting, just not that fast; but just knowing that I had finally taken them made a warm rush of comfort run throughout my body.

I tried to calm myself down the best I could, not wanting to show anything this pitiful state of mine.

I thought about Elliot and Cooper, who had both basically seen me as I was now. A new fear struck me, making me wonder if they could see me the same way as they did after this.

I shook the thought away for a moment, knowing that if I wanted to calm down, I'd have to stop thinking like this for a moment.

Yes, I was embarrassed of having to take these pills. They're awkward, and I hated how everyone would watch every single inch of you as you took them, as if every ounce of trust they have for you dissipates in the presence of the two capsules. I could never shake away the itchy feeling of eyes raking across my skin as I tried swallowing them as quickly as I could. Even my own grandmother has been told to look away while I take them. But those minor details just barely skimmed the rim of the problem I had with those pills. I also knew that if I took too much, they could harm me. They could mess with the chemicals in my brain, they could increasingly slow my heart rate without even me knowing.

They could make it stop completely.

I shivered, shaking my head, trying to once again clear my mind of my toxic thoughts.

Suddenly I remembered what I had come downstairs to do. My eyes flew around the oversized, beach-themed bathroom I stood in, locking onto the little pink sea-shell phone hanging on the wall. I almost raised my eyebrow, a phone in the bathroom? Who would need to use a phone when in the bathroom.

I sighed when I realized I was the one who needed to use the phone while in the bathroom. After picking up said overly ostentatious phone, I dialed in my home phone number, knowing it was the only way I could reach my grandmother since she didn't even have an emergency cell phone.

After taking a few deep breaths, calming myself down enough to speak correctly, I hit the call button. It only rang twice before I heard her voice over the phone, "Emma, dear? What is it? You know I like to stay up late on Fridays to watch Family Feud."

"How..." I was about to ask her, thinkinh she had no means of knowing it was me calling from the unknown number, then remembed what she'd said in a similar situation when I'd borrowed the school's phone in the main office freshman year to call her to tell her I was sick, long before I was graced with my old fashioned cell.