still with you

*not an update*

well so, I am having a huge ass writer's block and I haven't uploaded for a while now.

I seriously have no clue what this part is about but it might be a little emotional I guess.

first of all, DYNAMITE hit 1 billion. I don't know but proud is an understatement right now. this song was made by stepping out of their comfort zone. this song will always be close to my heart. the number of records it broke, the fact that it was a Grammy nominated song. Just radiates some legend energy.

ok so like, yesterday, I was watching a video. it was Namjoon's speech from 'the Love yourself: speak yourself the final in Seoul'. this speech has made me realize so much. he said "I don't know about self-love right now, but what I know is that it isn't impossible" this one line changed my whole perspective towards life. I'll be frank, self-love isn't an easy journey, but once you start that journey, there should be no coming back.

I seriously miss the boys so much. I miss seeing them on stage. I miss the army's chanting. I miss the oceans of the army bombs. and I am pretty sure they are missing this all too. it purely hurts that there is a chance that I'll never see them in real life. I just come at a loss of words when I talk about them. many have told me that this is just a stupid obsession towards a boy band. but what people don't realize is that how much happier I have been since I started to stan them. you know, at this point, I really don't care what people say about me or the boys because what I know is that they make me happy, they make me feel loved, they make me feel special.

if you look at it, how can a bunch of boys, who stay more than 3000 miles away from you can bring you the comfort which none of your friends or family can? it's nothing but the power of Bangtan. even though I've never met them in real life, there's this speck of safeness that always lingers whenever I watch them. I don't know how will I ever repay them because no one has the idea of how much they changed my life.

each and single one of them has taught me so much

Kim namjoon. this human, I seriously have no idea what to say. the amount of inspiration I have received from him is beyond words. he taught me that what real leadership is. he taught me how to be a better friend. he taught me how to face my challenges. when i say, that RM is the most considerate, most loving, most talented, most handsome man i know, I mean it. Kim Namjoon, I love you so damn much.