longing. [sambucky]

𝟒: not a chance

The next few hours had passed in a blur.
Sam didn't know quite how he'd ended up standing outside a police station with chattering teeth, after therapy with Bucky and discovering there'd been a black super soldier hidden from the public.

After the racism Sam and his family had experienced over the years, he didn't know why it had surprised him so much. Perhaps part of him wanted to pretend the American Dream of racial equality was a reality.

Following Isaiah, came being arrested, then the therapy. Which shouldn't have left Sam's heart racing in his chest and his thighs tingling where Bucky's had brushed against his, but had. The surge of emotions hadn't faulted even during their argument. Sam put it down to the fact Bucky was just weirdly attractive with his jaw clenched and cheeks tinted red with frustration.

Bucky had still scorned him for giving up the shield and Sam realised he'd probably have to come to terms with the fact that systematic racism was not something a white man from the 1940's was going to understand easily. He wouldn't get that Sam didn't take the shield because he knew that wasn't what the people wanted. Sam wasn't prepared for that backlash.

Bucky had temporarily calmed down once they'd left the police station. Until he saw John Walker, who was standing there with his chest puffed out, expecting Bucky to thank him for bailing him out, or an invitation to team up, or something.

Sam and Bucky turned away after a short conversation that left Sam's blood boiling. Bucky still had his jaw clenched, as he often did following an encounter with Walker. The white man who 'deserved' the shield.

"He says 'stay away' like we're the ones that have been following him everywhere," Bucky growled through his teeth, walking a few metres ahead of Sam, whose head was spinning from everything that had just happened.

"Slow down, this is all too much to process..."

...specifically the part where Sam realised he was really attracted to the way Bucky's face was deep in concentration. It sort of made Sam wish he'd push him against a rusty bus stop again...

"That's exactly why we need help," Bucky said, coming to a halt and looking back at Sam.

Bucky's brows were furrowed, they had been since the end of the therapy session, or maybe they'd just always been that way. His blue eyes still had that secretive sparkle to them. Sam knew he was holding back, even after his rant in therapy, there was something more hidden behind his pressed-together lips and permanent frown.

"I got nothing," Sam said.

Bucky's shoulders dropped and he let out a heavy sigh.

"I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said 'my people', he meant HYDRA," Bucky said.

Sam didn't like where he was going.
"Not a chance."

"Walker doesn't have any leads-"

"I know where you're going with this, no," Sam affirmed.

Because there was no way in hell he was hearing those code words, there was no way he was watching Bucky's humanity leave his eyes, watching him become a weapon again. All Sam could think of was the worst case scenario and protect Bucky, protect Bucky.

"He knows all of HYDRA's secrets, I'll go by myself and-"

Sam stilled.

He knew what he'd said in therapy, exactly what Bucky had wanted to hear: that they'd never see each other again after the mission was complete. But that wasn't what Sam wanted, the thought of Bucky going away for even a second made Sam's heart sink.

Bucky was still looking back at him questioningly, head tilted in a way that made him look like the picture of innocence, as if there were no horrors hidden in his mind.

Sam knew Bucky wasn't to blame for the horrors he had faced, if becoming a hero was what Bucky needed to heal, Sam would aid and assist him. Partly for Cap, partly for some other reason Sam couldn't put a finger on.

But despite not taking the shield, Sam still honoured Steve Rogers' legacy. Bucky Barnes was part of that legacy, however infuriating that fact was at times.

"Okay, then."

Bucky raised a brow as Sam let out a heavy sigh, reluctantly meeting his eyes.

"Let's go find Zemo."