My parents didn't know I tried to kill myself and I didn't want them too. Later my mom found out I was talking to boys so she put me on birth control. It made me gain wait. So she took me off of it. My dad started calling me fat. So I became anorexic and bulimia. I wouldn't eat. And if I did, I'd go into the bathroom right after and puke. I lost 17 pounds in a week. And I was happy about it. So I kept going. Eventually I dropped 38 pounds. You were able to see my bones. But I liked it like that. I started eating more though. I had a meal a day. And I was in love with my body. My dad and I got into an argument one day because of something stupid. And he told me to kill myself. That made everything worst. I didn't have a father figure in life so I always ran to boys. I just turned 15 when I lost my virginity to my 16 year old aunts boyfriend. I didn't even know him. I regreted it. I started smoking week, cigarettes, and drinking alcohol. Because it took my mind off things. I got really drunk recently and made a huge mistake. I had sex with a kid named Johnny. He's a big scumbag. I didn't know what I was doing. He took advantage of me. After that night, he spread it around the entire school. Everyone was calling me a whore. My friends still stuck by my side through it all though. My grades dropped. I didn't care about school anymore. I didn't care about anything. This happened my ninth grade year. I came home from school that day. Got a bunch of pills. Of all kinds, got blade and went to my bathroom. No one was home but me. I took every pill. Turned on my bath water and cut really deep. And got in the bath. While I was drifting of all i could think about was the names I was called and my dad telling me to kill my self. I left my suicide not in the toilet. It said, "I'm sorry I had to do this mommy. I really love and know I'll always be watching over you. And dad, go fuck your self. I hope mommy leaves you. And Serena, and Brianna, (my best friends) know I love you. And I didn't meant to leave your guys life this way. I'll miss you. But I'll also be looking down on you guys to. Justice, (my youngest sister) I love you baby girl. Always stay strong. I'll never leave your heart. Don't let people get to you. I'll miss you the most. You were my favorite person in life. I was able to tell you anything even though you are only nine. I'm sorry I can't stay to see you grow up. And Amber, ( second youngest sister) I love you. Even though we don't really have a friend ship. And kayla, summer, and lou, I love you guys. You were the most supportive. I'll miss having you guys as friends. But just know, I'm happy I'm finally gone. No more suffering. Goodbye world." And I was dead.
