Garden of Roses ✔️

Chapter 2

Zara

         I slowly open and close my eyes a couple of times, adjusting to the bright light that is blinding me. The light is coming from a big window on the right. It looks as if the sun is setting although I just woke up. I look around the room in confusion, not recognizing it and immediately feeling scared again as my eyes feel a familiar burn of tears gathering in them.

My eyes are still sensitive from the amount of liquid they produced last night. I don't even remember falling asleep. I suppose it was during the long car ride since the last thing I remember is admiring the soft bright colors of the sky through the car window.

Now that I slowly recall the events of the previous night, tears start to pour out of my eyes uncontrollably, and my chest aches as it quickly moves up and down in panic. Flashes of memory flood my mind. Long quiet hallway of our house and unfamiliar muffled voices from downstairs. Luca holding me tightly and whispering that everything is going to be okay when it was obvious that nothing was okay. I didn't understand why I had to sneak through my own house, although I didn't question it once I saw the terrified look on Luca's face.

When we were finally out of the house and on the dark lawn, Luca picked me up so I was looking at the house behind him over his shoulder. He told me to close my eyes and I did, but only after I saw a womanly figure lying on the white tiles of our dining room floor. Her hair looked just like mine, long, black and wavy. The womanly figure didn't move on the floor as a pool of dark red liquid spread slowly around her body. I couldn't see her face, and I didn't have to. I knew it was my mother.

I jump like a wild animal in my bed, jerking myself out of that nightmare. Finding myself completely disoriented, it takes me a few moments of stumbling in the dark with my hand to find my phone. The brightness blinds me when I touch the screen and it's showing 4:42 a.m.

Those awful dreams, or should I say memories haunted me my whole life, although I haven't had them in a while. I guess that unfortunate attack the other day got to me more than I would like to admit. But I can't let that happen. I can feel myself falling back into being the scared little girl I was back then. I have to snap out of it and fast.

I'm not that helpless child anymore. I'm not scared anymore. I can take care of myself and my people. I'm not afraid. I have no reason to be afraid.

I continue to mumble the statements to myself while pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs, rocking back and forth on the bed. Maybe if I repeat them enough times I will start to believe them. Or you know, just fake it till you make it. Whichever works.

I try to go back to sleep but it's hopeless. After tossing and turning for some time, at 5:21 a.m., I finally give up and get out of bed.

The lights are programmed to automatically go on at 7:30 so now I have to stumble in the dark to find a switch that's on the other side of the room to turn the lights on manually. I try to turn on a flashlight on my phone but it lights up for only a second before it dies completely. "Fucking piece of shit," I mumble under my breath as I throw my phone back on the bed.

After some struggle, I finally get the lights on and can now start my day. With a large cup of black coffee in my hand, I decide to go to my office and get some work done while I still have a little peace and quiet. On my way to the office, I pass by the kitchen and notice Luca sitting on a barstool at the counter, staring blankly at the floor.

"Couldn't sleep?" I ask, startling him and almost making him fall off the high chair. "Yeah, just... feeling restless I guess." He makes himself comfortable in the chair again and rakes his fingers through his honey brown hair.