Fnia Book 2 | Mikes Story

The Funeral

I sat in an uncomfortable lawn chair in the front row and stared at the closed casket. My brother's body was in there but his life had left his eyes long before he entered it. I was the one responsible for putting him in that damn box. I can only wonder what we would be doing if I hadn't done this. I think we probably would be inside watching a movie, it was pretty cloudy today and it would give an excuse to our mom why we weren't playing outside. Mom would come home and probably yell at me since I forgot to do something. I would do what she asked and go back to watching the movie. Mom, once she had taken half an hour to complain to her friends on the phone, would come and watch the tail end of the movie. We would watch another movie and during it, my Mom and Brother would both fall asleep. Dad would come home and he'd make himself dinner real quick and once he was done he would come over and pick up my Mom while I picked up my Brother. We would put them each in their beds and we'd both go to bed ourselves.

Days like that would never happen again I realized. I would never get to have them because my Brother was always going to be a missing piece to those almost perfect days. I destroyed our family, I destroyed my Brother's future, all for what? A couple of laughs? To impress my friends? None of it would ever be worth it. I was always supposed to die first, I'm the older sibling. I swore to protect him, that was my job. Why was I so stupid? I'm worthless, I had one job and I completely failed. I wasn't even paying attention to the funeral but once I had I realized my dad was up there by the casket giving a heartfelt speech about him being a great son and brother as my mother wept next to me. I want to cry with her but I think if I start I won't know how to stop and I didn't deserve the right to cry and the funeral of the person I murdered. To stop me from crying I started trying to focus on other things and as I did I noticed something off about my Dad. His words, voice, posture, were all that of a grieving man but his eyes were the same as the ones at the hospital, cold, calculating. What the fuck. I thought maybe at the hospital I was overthinking things but it was clear as day, my dad was calculating his moves. At his own son's funeral, he was trying to strategize. I have to talk to dad about what was going on with him. I was suddenly tapped on my shoulder and I look back to see Gage. his hands were arched underneath his nose. He leaned in and I hear him whisper "Uncle William is up to something". He had said exactly what I thought and his eyes pleaded with me to believe him. I nodded and mouthed to him to meet after the funeral. I looked back to my dad and his eyes stared down at me. I felt myself freeze as our eyes locked, only able to move after he looked away.

I waited in silence as my dad and a few others came up to do their speeches. The people who truly knew my brother all took their turns to say goodbye and I sat there holding back tears. I had almost held in my tears until my Mother went up there to talk. I tried so hard but my tears couldn't be held back any longer. They streamed down my face and the funeral ended with my Mom's final words. I sat there as people began to leave and my mom tried to get me to leave until I asked for a few moments alone. She looked at me and seemed to understand. I walked up to the casket and I put my hand on it. I felt a hand land on my shoulder and I looked over to see Gage standing there with a calm sadness. I turned to him completely and he looked around before he began to talk.

"I think your dad was involved in 'the incident'." his voice was barely above a whisper and he spoke with complete certainty.

"What?" I asked keeping my voice about the same as Gage, shock being clear in my voice.

"When Chris... fell, I saw William saying 'it worked', he did something. I don't know what but he's definitely involved." Gage said, the certainty in his voice unwavering. I want to fight him on this but I feel that he may be right. I sigh and look at him.

"What should we do?" I ask. Gage looks down at the ground in a thoughtful look and as though the answer was on the ground his head shot back up and looked me dead in the eyes.

"We find evidence. Me and my Mom are coming over this Saturday. We'll look for evidence then. Your dad may be smart but NCIS taught me that no one can cover up all the evidence so surely there's got to be something he missed... Right?" He questioned. His voice unwavering until that last word, and that word was laced with uncertainty. I had to hope that Gage was right, that we could find something of proof. This time I had to be certain that we would win otherwise I think our lack of hope would be our downfall and with that realized I spoke with all my hope visible in my voice. "Right."