Healing Draco Malfoy

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Published: 4/3/2021

Draco gripped Harry hard as he finally sealed the remaining breaches in his mental walls. Three weeks... he was locked in his head. He had slipped so far down that he thought he'd never come back, but it was Harry, who reached through the darkness and pulled him back to reality. Harry's pain... really. He couldn't stand to see him hurting so much, and hearing the distress in his voice, was what pulled him back. Harry needed him.

He remembered Harry talking to him every day. He even talked about school and the war. Harry refused to give up on him, and Draco couldn't thank him enough for that. He didn't really want to let go of him. Harry was real... something tangible and not something he had imagined up. Draco could barely describe what he felt holding him, again.

But Harry slowly recovered and pulled off his bed, eyes still red-rimmed. Draco noticed that he was thinner, too. He didn't feel the same when he hugged him. Bonier. He wondered how his friends let him slip this far.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I was worried sick about you."

"I'm okay, now, Harry," Draco whispered.

Harry nodded and then sent a Patronus through the wall. "Joel... he wanted to know when...."

"It's fine. Any chance you can..." Draco trailed off and held up his hand, like he used to for a massage. Harry gave a little smirk and took it, massaging it and working up his arm to his shoulder. He went behind him and kneaded his shoulders and down his back like before. "Fuck... that feels amazing. I think I woke just for this."

Harry smirked a little, but there was still pain in his eyes. Draco decided that joking about it probably wasn't the best idea.

"I felt you doing this to my arms and legs, why didn't you do for the rest?"

Harry's hands paused enough for him to tell that he was shaking.

"Harry?"

"I couldn't touch you... your body. I didn't want to send you further inside."

Draco grimaced. "It wouldn't have mattered. They always touched me. I didn't let myself feel them. You can do it."

Harry's breathing was still uneven, Draco realized. He was hurting and desperate to hide how bad he was, especially when he talked about physical contact. Harry couldn't handle being touched. As relaxing as the massage was, Draco needed to comfort him, somehow.

"Harry, come here," he ordered, and Harry came back to his side. "Please, calm down. I'm okay, now."

"I'm trying. I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm so fucked up," Harry whispered, tears coming out. "I'm a shitty healer... I'm sorry."

"No, Harry. You don't have to be sorry," Draco whispered, taking one of his hands.

Harry managed to stop crying, though his eyes weren't quite clear of the pain. He was so afraid of losing him, and Draco felt that deep in his soul. Harry was stuck and didn't know what to say. Draco could see that Harry's eyes had dark shadows under them. He hadn't been sleeping and, when he had hugged him, he could tell that Harry lost a lot of weight. He was scruffier, and didn't try to hide how broken he was. If Draco had to guess, his drinking had increased... a lot.

"Harry, please relax. I'm back and I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm trying. I'm sorry," he whispered.

Draco went to take his hand, when the door opened. Joel hurried in, and the kid locked eyes with him. "Draco? I'm glad you're awake," he said.

Harry tried and failed to look calm.