Sarawat drinks himself into oblivion most of every night, and only manages to drag himself into work in the mornings by pure dumb luck and means of determination.
He keeps his head down, focuses on the job like it's a matter of life or death (well, it is since he is police), and nobody says anything to him about the raw look of his skin or his bloodshot eyes, and that's just fine with him. He works the same job, does the same routine for almost ten years but now, something's changed. He actually got his guitar out of the store room after all these years, so his routine has changed for the better.
Work. Guitar. Drink. Wife. Sleep.
He works his fingers to the bone playing the guitar, until they bleed hot and red, and when he binds them up he thinks about pouring salt over them instead, letting one pain shut out another.
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"Don't you care about your health? You're just giving yourself wrinkles."
"What's the point? We're all going to die anyway."
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Tonight, he reaches home and his wife's asleep at the table surrounded by piles of paperwork, still clutching her pen. Their daughter is tucked in bed, sleeping soundly. Tine kisses his daughter on the forehead, carefully so he wouldn't wake her, then went to take care of his wife.
She looks so peaceful sleeping. He wished he didn't have to wake her. He hadn't seen her this relaxed since they got married and that was — it was ten years ago.
Her name slips over his lips unintentionally and he was surprised at the depth of emotion in his voice.
Her eyes flutter open.
"Tine?"
He immediately feels guilty for waking her.
"Shhh. Go back to sleep."
But she's already dragging herself onto a sitting position.
"What time is it?"
"Three o'clock. Go back to sleep."
"I have to finish ... I have work to finish."
"You can finish tomorrow. You're working too hard. Maybe you should take a day off."
"Tine, I just started. It's hardly been a month. I can't start taking days off now. Why don't you go to sleep. I'll be there in a minute. I'm almost finished."
"I'll sit with you, then."
She doesn't answer, just tiptoes to the table and starts working. He attempts starting a conversation.
"What did you and Malee do today?"
"I don't know. Kid stuff. They're learning about the ocean at her school, so we talked about that for a while. I would have finished these forms earlier but she was up until twelve."
"Why do you let her do that? She's going to be impossible in the morning."
"She wanted to see you. She misses you, Tine."
She didn't shout it. Her voice is barely louder than a whisper. She didn't sound angry, but she didn't have to. The words were powerful enough.
"I'm trying," is all he could manage to reply.
His wife didn't bother to argue. Maybe she is too tired. Maybe she just doesn't see the point. They both knew he wasn't trying as hard as he could be.
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"You got another headache, baby?" his wife runs her fingers through his new crew cut, her nails scratching gently over his scalp.
YOU ARE READING
Don't Leave Me
Fanfiction"I missed you. When you were gone I felt like dying. I couldn't smile. Couldn't live happily. I became the most miserable person in the world. I couldn't love anyone like I loved you. If people talked to me about fate, I'd laugh in their face. That...
