Sarawat's eyes are closed. He can't close his eyes. He can't. It's not allowed. Tine needs to wake him up. He needs Sarawat to wake up and ... say something, say he isn't just going to let him die.
No. Absolutely ... no!
"Sarawat? Sarawat?"
Sarawat's lips part. "There ... flowers," he whispers. He opens his eyes and stares blankly at Tine's face. "Aren't they pretty, Kunlatorn?"
Tine isn't sure Sarawat can even see him.
He starts to cry, and Sarawat just looks confused.
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Tine isn't a psychic, doesn't believe in them, but when he looks down at Sarawat, bleeding out on the park ground, muttering about bubbles and baths ... Tine somehow knows he isn't going to make it.
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"Tine," Sarawat says, and he's so pale; he's shaking so hard; there's so much blood. He doesn't know what's happening, but he must be scared. He must be so scared, and Tine can't even help him.
His best friend and soulmate is dying, dying in his arms and he can't even do anything.
"Help me out," Sarawat whispers, staring, and Tine feels himself breaking, breaking, broken.
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His eyes shut and don't open and Tine doesn't think he can breathe anymore.
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This is it. This is it. He's been playing catch up to Sarawat his whole life, but where Sarawat's going, he can't follow.
It's not supposed to end like this.
"Don't play," Tine sobs, "Come on." And Sarawat whispers that he's coming and Tine's not sure he wants to know where he's going to, but that's also when Sarawat stops breathing.
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Sarawat's unresponsive for three, long, horrible minutes. Then, he shifts and mutters something unintelligible, this time, it's about ice cream
'Ice cream' is Tine's new favourite word.
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Tine has been yelling Sarawat's name in at least forty, fifty, sixty different ways. And it's not doing squat for him; Sarawat is still dying and the paramedics still aren't here.
This time, when he yells, "Sarawat," he doesn't respond in the slight. No mumbling. No eye-twitching. No moaning, or groaning. No life.
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It is never supposed to end at all.
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They finally arrive when the shooting stops. They check his pulse and by the time the ambulance gets there, Sarawat doesn't have one.
Just a barely-there one, at that.
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CPR isn't the miracle everyone thinks it is. Tine knows this, but goes through the motions of it anyway as he watches the EMTs work compression after compression after compression until the they finally push him out of the way. He wants to yell at them. He wants to accuse them of incompetence, of not getting here fast enough. He wants Sarawat's heart to start beating again.
The paramedics pull out the defibrillator, and Sarawat's body jumps off the ground.
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YOU ARE READING
Don't Leave Me
أدب الهواة"I missed you. When you were gone I felt like dying. I couldn't smile. Couldn't live happily. I became the most miserable person in the world. I couldn't love anyone like I loved you. If people talked to me about fate, I'd laugh in their face. That...
