Prozac Anyone?

iii - the plan

 iii – the plan

I think one of the worst parts about finding out my parents wanted to ship me off to a depression clinic in Australia was the fact I had always begged them to take me to Australia. I had always hoped and wished that one day, maybe, I could visit the beautiful place. And now, they were finally fulfilling that wish, but in the worst way possible.

“Mom…” I cautioned. But she just gave me a sugary sweet smile.

“Daddy…please…explain,” I begged as I stood up from my seat and walked towards them.

“Baby girl, look. This is necessary,” And he took a long pause, he seemed to be collecting his data before continuing his argument. “We see how you act. You barely ever leave your room unless Jace comes over, and even then you both huddle in the dark of the basement, which I can’t fully say I approve of.” And his eyes began to water a little and I swooned. “We’re just so concerned you’re unhappy. We want you to be happy Ireland.”

“Dad…I swear I’m happy, I’ve never even been diagnosed by a doctor as depressed. But all of a sudden you decide to send me to a clinic halfway across the world? You realize how crazy that is, right?” I argued with them cautiously, I didn’t need to fight right now.

“Sweetheart, we need this. You need this. We want our Erin back.” My mom finally said.

“Mom please, I’m not depressed. Why don’t you believe me?” My voice raised and the tears began to spill over my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

“You leave in a month.” And she got up shakily, and she tried her best to turn away from me but I could see that she was crying badly too.

“Mom! That’s when school starts, please! You have to understand!” And I was bawling, and screaming, and so beyond help at that point. I could faintly see my father walk towards me through my blurred vision and I screamed at him too.

“How could you do this to me? You damn well know I’m not depressed!” I screamed and I kicked and I charged at him.

“This will help you Ireland, please.” And he moved my now limp body away from him and walked out of the room.

-    -    -

My parents never came back out laughing and telling me this was all one big joke, in case you were wondering. Nope, they were completely serious and they made that very clear. I can’t tell you how long I sat on that couch and sobbed before a knock on the door came.

I knew there was no way my parents were going to get it since it seemed they were dead set on staying in their office and never looking at me again. So, I reluctantly went to the door and opened it myself, only to reveal my one and only savior, Jace.

“Holy shit Erin, what the hell happened?” And he pulled me out of the house and closed the door behind me.

“Can we go somewhere?” And he looked at me for a second and then slowly nodded his head.

“Of course.” And I followed behind him slowly to his big black pick-up he begged his parents for just a few months ago. I hopped in the passenger side and we drove off.

“Is there anywhere in partic-“ He started off, but I cut him off as soon as I could.

“No.” He glanced over at me cautiously and out of the corner of my eye I could see the concern written all over his face. It wasn’t exactly fair for me to be acting so cold towards him, but I couldn’t help it. This was life changing.

“To the Academy we go then.” Jace knew how much I loved visiting the Naval Academy and knew it could usually cheer me up on any occasion. Today, it would be a little bit harder.

The heart of Annapolis was beautiful and I envied anyone who lived there. The old buildings and the little boutiques that lined the streets could put anyone at peace even on their worst days. And maybe, just maybe, they were slowly working their magic on me. We parked the car in a small parking lot that overlooked the Severn River and got out. People strolled about and marveled at the yachts as they slowly backed out of their slips.

Jace lead me towards the visitor’s entrance and we walked through the metal detectors and showed our IDs. The guards give us a quick smile and let us through. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the beauty of it. The old colonial buildings and the beautiful water that surrounds it never fails to make me swoon. A small smile began to appear on my lips as we walked the path that lead all around the campus.

“There she is,” Jace smiled down at me with a bright smile on his lips, “I knew she’d come out soon enough.” I looked up at him and gave him the best smile I could muster up.

“So, do you want to tell me what happened?” And he pulled me towards a bench.

I sat down and stared up at him and nodded slightly.

“They’re sending me off.” I said simply.

“Sending you off?” He whispered.

“Yeah...to a clinic. It’s in Australia. They say it’s for the best and they’re dead set on it too...They say I have a month.” I trailed off as I fixed my gaze on the water.

“But what about sch-”

“I know.”

“They can’t just send you to a goddamn clinic across the world, they won’t accept you,” His voice hitched as the anger started to fill his tone of voice, “This clinic or whatever knows you’re not depressed. They can’t accept you. You can’t miss senior year.” He’s angry now. I wish I could be angry.

“I know, I know.” I pause and stare at him. “But there’s literally nothing I can do. They already booked it…” And I look down to my shoes and hold back the tears.

“Hey hey hey...We can fix this.” He whispers as he puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close.

We sit in silence for awhile. I think of how I could’ve let this happen, how uneducated my parents are on depression, how stupid this all is. I curl up closer to Jace and I let a few tears fall.

“Do you think I’m depressed?” I sob.

He straightens himself up and gives me a look of shock as he grips my shoulders and turns me to face him.

“Are you kidding me? Look at you.” And he does an over exaggerated look over of my entire body.

“I don’t think just by the way someone looks determines their state of depression.”

“Oh come on Erin...You know what I mean. You know you’re not depressed.” He shoots back at me.

“Than what’s wrong with me? How could they do this to me? I just don’t get it…” I feel like I’m screaming it but I know it’s barely coming out as a whisper. Nothing seems right. Nothing is making sense.

“Nothing is wrong with you Erin, they’re just…”

“They’re just what Jace, what could they possibly be?”

“Confused.” He whimpers

“Confused parents don’t send their kids halfway across the world. Insane parents do.” But I can’t help but be a little intrigued by his prospect.

“Maybe...maybe we can convince them to change their minds.” He states with a certain pride in his voice.

“Jace I don’t thi-”

“Here’s the plan.”

And within this plan was the perfect formula for convincing my very ‘confused’ parents that I was very much not depressed. This plan would change my life. This plan would lead me to finding love in myself, others, and the environment.

This plan was goddamn genius.