My life is just "oh fuck" moments

Oh Fuck im fucking grounded

Thank you @Shadow-In-The-Light for editing/beta read :D
TW: swearing, mentions of fire, mentions of death, mentions of blood/injury, yelling, attempted capture, stealing(?)(tell me if I missed anything!)

The vacuums noise rang loud in my ears. It was a loud vrrring sound that made me want to mash it into tiny pieces with my very, very strong arms. I didn't do that though because I knew that Tubbo would be even more mad than he already was. He grounded me. Like can you believe that? What a prick.

I woke up this morning after a long and very angry talk with Tubbo. The sun was shining through my windows, and I could hear the soft noises of cars driving in the distance. I was warm in my bed and everything felt soft and safe. And of course Tubbo chooses this moment to fuck me over and burst into my room, ranting about the stupid cleaning the whole house punishment. I could tell that this was the universe's way of saying 'karma bitch'. I decided I hated the universe and that it could go fuck itself.

So of course to not incur his wrath I got out of my very comfortable, warm, and safe bed and reluctantly got to work cleaning. At first I was going to do it very slow to spite him, but I remembered that I just wanted to get this over with, so I stopped. 

After wrestling with the vacuum, I gave up and laid on the floor in non-defeat, because I would never lose. Tubbo walked up next to me and stared down at my pile of limbs. "I made breakfast." He said nonchalantly, walking back to the living room. "What is it?" "Cereal." "Boring." I whined. I walked over to the kitchen to grab the bowl of cereal he had made for me. "Shut up and eat it." He scoffed playfully as I sat down on the couch next to him.  "Fuck you bitch boy." I laughed shoving him. I saw him shove cereal down his throat to keep from smiling. It was really heartwarming until he started choking. "Oh shit." I said quietly as he hacked and coughed. I stood there awkwardly not really knowing what to do. I pat his back attempting to dislodge whatever the fuck was stuck in his air hole. He stopped coughing and calmly continued eating his fucking Cocoa Puffs. "Tubbo. What the fuck." I whispered, staring at him incredulously. He ignored me completely and turned the tv on.

"-Burnt down another building this past week. It was an apartment building on elpine street. Unfortunately there are no survivors from the attack. Heroes don't know what his motives are yet and the attack last night makes Dreams motives even more unclear."

The news man rattled on about the attack he had whiteness just hours ago. "Thank god you weren't there when this happened. God you probably would have died or something. Seriously, tell me when you're going out." Tubbo scolded. "I know, I know." I hadn't told him the truth about what part of the city I had been in. I didn't want to worry him. "I've heard of this guy on the news before. He's pretty fucked up. Like kills a ton of people and shit." Tubbo said while munching on his cereal casually. I still really wanted to catch this guy. He just rubbed me the wrong way. Obviously in the way that he killed people, but he felt different than other villains.

"Anyway, I decided that I'm gonna go to school today." Tubbo said nonchalantly.  "After you haven't been for months? Why?" "To piss off the teachers. I also heard that their science lab has good shit, so I might snatch it." I laughed at his reasoning. "You better clean all day then like you promised." He said, cutting off my laughter. "Yeah yeah I know." I frowned. He stood up and grabbed his old school bag from the closet. Tubbo slipped his shoes on and unlocked the door to exit it. "If you break anything I'll break you." Tubbo yelled while walking out the door. "Fuck you bitch boy!" I yelled in return.

I sighed. I had been sitting doing nothing for a bit after Tubbo left. What was I gonna do today? I wasn't gonna clean. No way in hell. He confiscated my vigilante stuff other than my mask. So alternatively I could go for a walk and be responsible, or I could commit crimes. Easy choice in my opinion. However Tubbo would be pissed at my acts of greatness. Both maybe? Genius. You are a genius Tommyinnit. I smiled to myself. I really am the greatest person alive.