My life is just "oh fuck" moments

Oh fuck i dont have a good chapter name

TW: fire, death, blood, disassociation(is that what it's called?) (tell me if there's anything I missed!)

Beating people up is normally considered bad and morally wrong. That's where my dilemma comes in. It's literally the only dream I've ever had. Now I may be standing over some passed out bodies in this moment in time but I'm not a bad person. In fact I'm the greatest person you'll ever meet. I'm the best that's all there is to it. Even if I'm about to be arrested by the police. yay.

"Hey officer." I said waving to the people in blue outfits. There want too many of them. This was only a robbery after all. They had their guns pointed at me like I was the source of their problems. Rude. "They're yours to take I guess. Your welcome." I said gesturing at the unconscious people on the floor wearing shady outfits. "Do you have a hero license?" The officer asked completely ignoring my act of kindness. Asshole. "Uhhh... actually yeah I have it...in my..." I looked down at my person. I was wearing my outfit as normal. White tee shirt and a red hoodie. I had a black mask on to hide my identity and color contacts that I was able to get my hands on to throw off searchers. "It's in my ....uhhh.... pocket. Yeah." Smooth. So very smooth. The police officer lowered his eyebrows at me and the others behind him raised their guns once more. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a contraption that Tubbo made. A smoke bomb. It was the size of a quarter but produced so much smoke. When he first tested it out the smoke alarm in our apartment went off and we had to evacuate the building. I threw it to the floor and smoke leaked out of it in large waves. Tubbo, you are great but I'll never tell you because your ego would get too big.

I turned to run and gunshots fired behind me, cutting through the smoke like a butter through knife...wait. I tripped in my shoelaces and fell flat on my face. I gasped only consuming a mouthful of that smoke. Not good. I pushed my self up only to cry out feeling a bullet go through my palm. More bullets showered my way. I scrambled up to my feet running as fast as I could. I reached the door of the building where I opened it in panic only to see mor cops with their weapons pointed at me. "Oh fuck."

I jumped as high I could hoping that Tubbo's stupid fucking magic shoes decided to take pity on me and work. I was at least 50 feet in the air when I opened my eyes. Thank fuck. Then I looked down, realizing that the jump was only half the battle. So obviously I was a man about it and didn't scream when I started to descend from the sky. I un-tensed when I felt myself going up again. Apparently Tubbo figured out how to not break your legs on the way down. I was basically bouncing away from the crime scene, which sounds a lot less cool than it was.

I landed on the roof of my apartment building and carefully climbed through the window of my place.
I then got bitch slapped by my roommate. "What the fuck?" I whined softly, rubbing my cheek. He may be just a tech guy but he can hit hard when he wants to. "What the hell Tommy! You not only broke the earpiece again but you also almost got caught by the police!" "How did you know bout the police bit?" "I put a mic in your suit hoodie. I could hear the sirens and gunshots." "Dude what the fuck?" I frowned.

"And you got injured!?" He yelled grabbing my injured hand. I flinched away from him, my face souring. Tubbo sighed and tugged me toward our bathroom. He grabbed the first aid kit and sat me down. We were silent while he bandaged my hand up. "Are you okay?" He asked firmly but quietly. "Yeah I'm fine." "This is really dangerous, especially for you, you know." He said looking at me with the face he always does when we talk about this. "I know Tubbo. I'm not stopping though." "I know." He said plainly. "Are you actually mad at me?" I asked softly. "Yes and no. I'm glad you're mostly okay but I'm still mad you broke the earpiece. Those things are expensive you know."  "Yeah I'm sorry." He made a face at me. "What?" "Hearing you apologize is weird." He said grinning at me. "Well excuse me for trying to be nice." I said shoving him playfully. "Do you want to watch the office while we eat dinner?" "Sure." He said standing up. "Don't mess with the bandages this time." He shouted from down the hallway. I scoffed and started to pick at the bandages just to spite him.