The Lost

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I felt as if my heart was slowly being ripped out of my chest. Like I was slowly dying and falling into a bottomless black mass. It hurt so much to watch as he equipped his horse, to watch him prepare to ride out of my life and take my heart with him. My vision was a blur from unshed tears, my body numb but my legs seemed to move, desperately, trying to stop him. "Please Will, please don’t go." My voice broke, as I tried to hold back the desperation in my tone. "Please…" I begged, pulling on his arm.

"I can’t stay, we both know that." His hands, rough from years of forging weapons, softly brushed across my cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped. His pale blue eyes looked down into mine, I felt more tears begin to slowly cascade down my cheeks thinking that this would be the last time I would feel his touch or look into those eyes that held so much. "Your father’s right, you were born to be a queen. I can’t keep you from that. I have nothing. I would never be able to give you the life you deserve. I –"

"I don’t want to be a queen. I don’t care for gold nor nobility Will! I don’t want to marry some old pig of a king who I don’t even know. Who would never look at me the way you do. Who I will never love because…I just want you!" I yelled at him, my body shaking with anger, stress, hurt… "Please! Don’t go…You’ll die…" It escaped my mouth in barely a whisper. I knew the soldiers, that went to fight for the King, had a slim chance of returning. Their lives stolen because of one man’s stupidity. The war, the fighting, it never stopped, neither did the death.

He pulled me into his strong arms, wrapping them around me. "I’ll come back. I promise." He whispered, his hand softly stroking my hair as I cried into his chest. My tears disappearing into the white fabric of his tunic. I felt it as he slipped a chain around my neck, the cold silver against my skin. I wanted to stay in his arms forever, for him to stay here wrapped around me forever, to never let go, no matter what. His hand pushed my long hair behind my ear and tilted my chin up so that our eyes locked, our gaze not breaking as he lowered his lips to mine. Every kiss was just like the first. I felt my head spin, butterflies. I felt as my heart came back to life. Instinctively, my eyes shut savoring his touch, the feel of his lips pressed against mine. "Don’t forget me..."

People danced within the hall, most of the men drunk with mead, the women gossiping amongst themselves. All to celebrate the engagement, of King Uric and The Lady Mira - me. Here I sat at my own engagement party, being sold off to a drunk, pungent pig but my thoughts never seemed to leave the image of those pale blue eyes, his touch, and his voice. My fingers played with the chain around my neck, the last thing I had of him, to remind me of him. When they tell you what it’s like to fall in love, they seem to only tell you the good. They don’t tell you how much it hurts, how when that person’s gone, you feel empty. The way you can’t breathe when you think about the memories. The tears and screams muffled by your pillow at night…they always seem to leave out the heart break. I guess that’s what I am. Heartbroken.

A roar of laughter erupted from the brute of a man who sat by my side. His fist colliding with the oak table as he cackled causing a tankard of wine to spill on me. This only fed his laughter. "Don’t worry Darling you won’t be needing that dress on after too long." His words slurred in his northern accent. The look in his black beaded eyes brought fear and disgust to me. I was not going to be that woman though, the one who feared a man because of his title or fist. I was to be brave, strong. But I knew that there was no way out of this and though I would try to be brave and strong, I knew deep down there was nothing I could do, and that brought me fear which overpowered my desires to be brave. The men around him chuckled and continued to tell their tales of war and whores. They spoke of war as if it were a pleasure. No matter how many soldiers had perished or how many innocent lives their blades had stolen, they cared only for the honour, the victory. How could there be honour in killing? In watching the light disappear from a young boys eyes.

So many emotions boiled up inside of me listening to their words, so many torturing thoughts crossed my mind, I couldn't take it. I stood up from my chair, its leg scraping against the stone floor gaining the attention of the men around me. "I shall retire to my chambers." I announced keeping my voice and my expression calm, my eyes watched Uric as he nodded his approval and continued to drink the wine from his cup. My hands grasped the sides of my skirts as I bowed my head and curtsied. "My king, my lords." My legs aching from sitting still for so long, carried me up the staircase that led to my chambers, my maid silently following.

I sat upon the vast bed, my fingers fondling the fur cover beneath me. A calming sigh escaping my lips as I laid back, relaxing all my muscles trying to relieve the stress that had built inside me. My eyelids closed bringing me into a peaceful darkness, tranquil thoughts of the eastern mountains brought a small smile to my lips as I imagined what it would be like to live free, unbound from duties nor honour. I would be free…

My maids high voice broke through my daydreaming, my eyelids fluttered open. "Would you like to be dressed in your night gown, my lady?" her small hands held the white cloth gown, her brown eyes waiting for my answer.

"Yes, Lucille" I rose to my feet turning my back to her so she could unfasten my corset.

"Are you eager for your wedding, my lady?" she asked. I felt a lump form in my throat at the thought nervously I pulled my long dark hair from my back to one side, shielding my face from her eyes.

"of course." My voice was unrevealing to the dread I felt inside, the terror that grew with every passing day. Lucille pulled the white gown over my head gently before moving to place my disregarded dress in a basket. I sat at the chair facing my mirror, releasing the pins that held my hair letting it cascade over my shoulders. Lucille stood behind me slowly and gently brushing it. My eyes glazed over the image reflected in the mirror. My blue eyes that once held so much happiness seemed lifeless, decorated with the bags that hung under and my skin once a beautiful ivory turned pale. I did not recognize this face that stared back at me.

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Cover by: ChocciiBooksx Thank you!  

Amazing Video by PetaMinter

also thank you to all those who help with editing and ideas you guys are amazing!!!

Tell me what you think please its just an idea but if you guys tell me you like it i'll put the rest up so please comment?Please also note that im only fourteen and im still trying to develop my writing so any suggestions or advice will be much appreciates, thanks.