Phoenixfire

Ashes and Dust I

Weeks have passed. Phoenix still wakes screaming some nights. Memories haunt her. At days she trains and works with the others. They go on missions, they have fun. They have parties. In the light of day, Phoenix feels like she can cope. At nights, things are so much harder. Natasha is with her all the way. Whenever she can. She had to stay out once or twice. Those nights Phoenix spends in the training room until she basically falls unconscious from hitting the wooden target for hours. She is getting tired of herself. Tired of being soft. Then, in the morning of a beautiful sunny day, Phoenix has enough. At breakfast, she tells the others she will go out shopping, and then prepare an Argentinian feast at night. Tony looks at her for a moment, then chucks her the keys to his sleek silver sports car. "Take my baby for a ride, will you? She's being cooped up, and that doesn't do her any good. Friday is connected to it; she can get you home whenever you need it." Phoenix cocks an eyebrow but decides to let it go. Nat follows her out to the car. "You sure?" "I have to prove myself, that I am not broken. I will see you in a bit, Kaha." She kisses Nat goodbye and speeds of.

Hours later, when Phoenix enters the room, Natasha turns around and just stares. Phoenix can see the fear behind the smile. A fear born of the love they bear for one another. Phoenix steps closer to that soulmate of hers, wanting to take away the fear, the pain. She steps in, gets on her toes, and pulls her into a kiss. Deep, lingering, sweet. Only when the others leave, she realizes, they hadn't been alone. Leaning back Nat looks at her with a smirk, though her eyes are searching. "If this is the 'I am back'-kiss standard version, you have to do that more often" She says in a quiet voice. Phoenix's smile falters around the edges and falls. The light, that had just shone from Nat's face dims, while she gives the smaller woman the once over of a professional, who had seen her fair share of fighting. "What happened?" Her fingers lightly touch various tears and rips in Phoenix's clothing, that now became apparent. Phoenix's breath hitches. "Can we please go to our room?" A second or two Nat's eyes still rest on the other woman, before she takes her hand gingerly and lets her take the lead. Not looking at anyone as Phoenix leaves the room and comes across them waiting in the hallway, she says: "The shopping is still in car; could someone please...." She breaks off, not waiting for a reply. She needs to not have all of them look at her. To not have them pity her. Or ask questions. Or see too much. Tony seems to want to ask something, but Phoenix sees Wanda resting a hand on his shoulder and he just nods. "Sure thing, kid." As Phoenix's control starts to falter she moves faster and only by Nat matching her increasing pressure in the hold of their linked fingers, Phoenix realizes how fragile her composure is. Finally, they reach their room and Phoenix sighs, lets go of Nat's hand and rushes straight to the bathroom and reaches to turn on the shower. "I... I need...", her voice breaks. "What happened, love?" Nat finally repeats her question. Phoenix starts to tremble and doesn't look up. She tags at the zipper of her coat. When it falls open Nat can see the bloody remains of the light blue silk shirtdress Phoenix had dressed in that morning. Ripped in so many places it nearly falls off on its own accord. Singed right over the heart. As she stands trembling, Nat steps closer, looking intently into her eyes. "Love." This one word holds all the warmth her heart connects with the usually fierce 5 foot nothing-woman. As Nat slowly raises her hand and starts to take the remains of the dress off from Phoenix, she takes minute inventory of each cut, bruise and laceration on her body. There would be hell to pay, for whoever was to be held responsible. She frowns at the bitemark on Phoenixes body, each bloodshot handprint. And the burned mark right above where the heart was, the size of a dime maybe. "Do you know who?" As Phoenix shakes her head, she feels like she falls further under water, things getting fuzzy around the edges, sound blocked of by a loud rushing sound like water over stones. "Why didn't you use the Com and call?" Phoenix dry sobs. "Couldn't. Was not fast enough." Nat frowns, then picks up her mobile. "I need to take pictures, maybe we can find something. And.... DNA?" It takes a while for Phoenix to nod. "There should be some in there", she whispers indicating the remainder of her clothes. "Underwear in particular." She lowers her eyes and sinks deeper into herself as Nat methodically starts to take a catalogue of her injuries. Quick and efficient she works, as Phoenix tries to hold on to not breaking as hard as she can.

Once Nat is done, Phoenix starts the water as hot as it will go. The scalding water runs pink. Nat quickly hands out her mobile and the clothes-remains to someone in the hallway, denies entry first to Bruce but takes his Med kit, then to Tony and Steve demanding info, at last firmly closing the door saying "I'll take care of her and let you know if I have more info." She returns to the bathroom, where Phoenix now sits underneath the hot spray, head on her knees, silently crying. After a while Natasha gingerly helps her up and has her step out of the shower. Carefully she dries her off and starts to take care of the deeper wounds. Worst is a deep bitemark on one breast, the burn mark and the huge bruise forming along the ribs and abdomen. When her hands with the towel reach between the legs, Phoenix shrinks back and looks around widely for an out. Natasha stops midmotion, makes soothing noises and simply hands Phoenix a fluffy hoody and a pair of sweatpants. "It's okay, honey. Can you tell me, what happened? What you remember?" Phoenix eyes widen in sudden panic and her breath hitches. She tries to say something, but no sound comes forth. She tries again, but nothing. "I can't", she finally whispers. "I can't tell. They said not to tell. They said.... not to tell or they'll be back... They took...." Phoenix shudders and breaks off. Nat offers her hand and Phoenix latches onto it after a long minute of convincing herself the Redhead means no danger. Once she touches her again, Phoenix quickly steps forward and buries her head on Nat's shoulder, hugging her tight. Over and over "Can't tell, can't tell, can't tell" leaves her mouth, whispered. Nat cradles Phoenix's head with one hand while the other keeps the smaller woman firmly pressed to her. After standing like this in a long silence she says "What if you don't tell, but show? What if Wanda peeked? She could help you not dream tonight?" Being so close to Nat seems to help with the fog around Phoenix's mind. She takes a while to consider and then slightly nods. Thinking quickly, Nat asks "Do you want to come or stay here while I hunt down Wanda?" "Stay" Phoenix whispers. She puts on her brave face as she decidedly takes a step away from Nat. "I'll wait here." Nat takes her hand and places a kiss into the palm. "Hold that for me, I will be back in a sec." With a last look she turns and leaves. She could have just asked Friday to find Wanda, but she needs to make the others stay away and get them looking into what happened.

Back in the room, Phoenix still stands in the middle of the room, where Nat left her. The fog and panic creep back in as soon as she no longer is there to anchor her. She huffs an unhappy laugh. "I did not break under Christobal's punishment. But this...." She whispers to herself. Unable to remain in the open space she steps into the small gap between bed and wall and sinks down to sit, hugging herself tight. Keeping her fist closed around the kiss. Digging her nails into her flesh. She tries to hold on to the safety she feels with Nat. Desperately. A losing the battle.

Only a few minutes pass, then Nat re-appears with Wanda in tow. "I am here" Phoenix says quietly, holding out her hand. Nat comes rushing forward and offers her hand back as she lies down over the bed to reach. Wanda closes in slower, eyeing the diminished woman in the corner closely. Phoenix does not look up, not able to take the pity in her eyes. Wanda crouches down, gently rests her hand on Phoenix's cheek and forces her to look up. No pity in her eyes. Just determination and warmth. "You really want this?" "Can't tell", Phoenix stammers. "S... Seeing is... not telling." Phoenix starts to tremble again as she closes her eyes and takes a fortifying breath. "I am sorry" she hears Wanda say, before she feels a different kind of fog creep over her mind and gets lost in the memory of kissing Natasha for the first time. Moments, hours, years... Eons? Phoenix doesn't know how long it takes, but then the red haze lifts from her mind. The love she feels for Nat glows deep within Phoenix and glosses over the hollow that she starts to recognize deep within. She curls up around it on the floor. She feels Wanda's magic lift her up and place her on the soft firmness of the bed. The warm blanket settles over her. Then she feels Nat's hand gently touch her face as she hears Wanda whisper "Sleep tight little one. And dream only good dreams. You are safe now." With that Phoenix drifts off.

Nat settles herself with her back to the headboard, keeping her hand gently on the now sleeping woman's back. For a moment both women are silent. "Romanoff?" Wanda waits patiently until the Redhead looks up to her. "I can show you what I saw while I tell the others if you allow me in. That way you can stay with her. And you will know it all, whereas I might keep the one or other fact from the boys." Nat looks at Wanda for a full minute, deciding what to do. Then she nods.

When Wanda's glowing hand reaches toward her face, she catches it at the wrist. "Do not leave anything out, Maximoff. No editing for me, you understand?" Wanda nods and Nat releases the wrist. Her eyes reflect Wanda's magic as the link takes hold. Nat floats for a moment, as Wanda leaves the room to find the others in the main room. As the darkness is replaced by pictures and feelings, she hears Wanda's voice recollection to the others what happened in an abbreviated version.