STEPbros

Bergen

"Please answer..." - the time on my watch stopped suddenly and a minute seemed eternal, I was trying to call Benji but of course he wasn't going to reply.

I had enough of his way to escape, running away without giving answers, how could he break my heart after years? How could he hurt me from so far away, I needed to talk to him, so I spent hours trying to call him on his phone.

"Halo?" - he answered - "Halo my ass!! Can you talk? I need to talk to you"

I tried not to cry but my voice was broken, he noticed and his breath became heavy through the phone - "What happened?" - he said, I tried to calm down, but my heart was exploding - "Tell me why do you care so much about what he does to me" - " What?" - " Don't pretend to not know!!" - "Do you really wanna talk at the phone?" - " Yes. Tell me why you left the country and asked me to accept the adoption" - "Because I wanted to protect you".

Until that moment I thought he only used me as one of his toys, as he used to do with the girls he dated just to have the special night and then forget about them the morning after, I'd never thought he moved away to protect me.

"Blake was mad at me... So I left the country to allow you to be his son, as he wanted to" - "Why was he mad at you?" - "It's not important"

Suddenly, his voice low down and it looked to me that he was crying, the silence after his words broke my heart even more. I knew the answers, deep inside I always knew it, but somehow hearing it from him was necessary for me to go on.

"Please... Tell me why he was mad at you" - "I gotta go now, please don't overthink about me. I was just kidding, if you like him you should go for him" - "Wait, Benji!"

He ended our call.

The voices inside my head were so loud, I started crying but I couldn't really say why, hearing his voice breaking apart was hurting inside of me. I always wondered what happened that day, two years ago, when he decided to move to another country. I knew it was something more than just work, but I wasn't brave enough to ask.

I left my room, running downstairs, the office where Blake used to spent big part of the day was right near the stairs, I reached it quickly and I opened the door without worrying about what he was doing, and thank God he was only reading his computer.

"Can we talk?" - my tears blinded my eyes and my voice was broken, he could tell I was hurting so he stopped what he was doing and he stood up walking in front of me.

"What happened Jorge? Are you ok?" - "No, I'm not. There's something you're hiding from me and I wanna know it, now." - he didn't look surprised, he looked at me for some minutes and then he stepped back, laying on his desk.

"What's that about?" - "Why did he leave the country..?" - " Who?" - "You know who!!!"

He smiled at me but his eyes looked disappointed, I could feel the pressure and my anxiety going high, I stared at him for some minutes before he talked again.

"I thought you forgot after two years, but you're crying now" - he said, pulling his hair back - "You let him go... So easily..." - "I asked him if he wanted a brother, he said no, so I told him he wasn't forced to stay in a family he never wanted." - "W-what" - "He said he didn't a brother, but I know that what he was trying to say it's that he didn't want You as a brother".

I stayed silent, looking at him when my tears were falling on my cheeks, there was no way to stop it. He looked at me, mad, and then he whispered - "I wonder why" - but he perfectly knew the answer.

"D-did he tell you something?" - " No, but his eyes talked for him. I'm his father, I know my son. So if he thought that he could have forgotten about you just leaving the country I allowed him to go" - "If you knew the whole thing why you decided to adopt me?" - "Because I married your mother and you are my son. There was no way that I could accept a relationship between you and Benji, move on, as he did".

My heart was hurting so much, Blake knew that what me and Benji had was way more than just brotherhood and he separated us to just create his perfect family. I was about to explode, I run out from his office towards the garden, where I could run, and run, and run more.

In the silence of the Villa there was only my loud, broken voice screaming as if I could break a wall in that moment. Sir Thomas noticed me, but stayed apart, as if he knew everything from the beginning and always hide the truth from me. Everyone knew, and I was fool enough to believe it was only in my head.

"He loved me... What we had was real" - I couldn't stop the voices inside my head, making me whispering with low voice, before screaming again - " HE LOVED ME!!!!".

I walked around the garden for hours, crying, looking around for him as if I was hoping to see him in that moment. I knew he wasn't gonna come, my heart hurt more, I lost the only person I loved for real.

"Jorge!! Please stop!!" - a voice coming from behind interrupted my thoughts, I stopped suddenly, inside my head I connected that voice to Benji but when I turned towards it my eyes full of hope started to cry again.

"Go away Jeremiah" - "No! Please stop walking so fast... Oh my G- I can't breath" - "You don't have to follow me, I'm leaving tonight" - "What? And where are you going?" - I turned my face and started walking again, I didn't want him to know, but I guess my intentions were quite obvious.

"Blake will never let you go to Bergen" - "Fuck Blake!! And Fuck you! Why are you still following me!?" - " I wanna help you" - "I never asked!" - " He's your brother there's nothing you can do!!" - "I love him. I never stopped. And if he hates me he has to talk to me and say it, he never did" - "Benjamin Krol doesn't even know what love is!!" - "He loved me Jeremiah, HE LOVED ME!" - "That's what Blake wants you to believe!! To make you hate Benji for leaving you here, you know nothing but what Blake wants you to know" - "No!! That's what I knew from the beginning, from the first time he kissed me... the way he looked at me,
How he was so jealous about me, how much he wanted to protect me.. When he waited for me for an entire night crying in my bed, when he made sure I was eating properly... He always loved me...and I was so stupid to think he only played with me"

I was so stupid... To think he only played with me.