The Struggle to Get Her

Home situation

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We make it to my first class and I set my stuff down in the back class and leaving back to the hallway so Ryan and I can roam the school for the last 20 minutes we can.

We walk to the vending machines and I get a Orange Fanta I don't really like diet soda that much. We walking to the back of the school to A hall talking about our last week of summer. His was more interesting than mine. I spent mine asleep to avoid my mother and step father.

I hear the first bell ring and I put my earphones into my phone so I can avoid the teacher talking we don't actually learn anything in the first day.

I enter the class room looking at all the different faces and you could see the friends and enemies. You could pull out the rich from the poor and the popular from the underdogs. I go to join the invisible crowd. I never knew that one day that would change.
*Schoold ends and I am home*

I enter into the house to see my mom has already begun drinking and my step father hasn't made it home. I greet her and tell her how my day goes while I make pizza rolls and grab and off brand version of sprite.

Once everything was ready I grab my plate and sprite and head to my room, where I am all the time. I pull out my journal from under my mattress and my favorite led pencil. I began writing down everything.
"So I saw this absolutely georgous girl today. I know I just got dumped but even if I was dumped a year ago or still in the relationship she was so beautiful. Its like God spent extra time making her. I found out she has health/gym with me for 2nd block and her name is Kara. That's about it. I didn't cut myself last night. I am seriously trying to stop, I don't want to be back in the psych ward I can't be. I won't be."

I hear a knock at my bedroom door. I have begun to lock my door so when my mom gets black out drunk she can't barge in and attack me like she used to when I was a kid and she began doing it again when I came out to her.

I get up to get the door and open it up.

"Hey sweetie, what do you want for dinner?" My mother had the best look on her voice she is so nice to me when she isn't drunk.

"Can we have chicken pressure cooked? Please." I say asking quietly.

She nods her head and closes the door behind her and I lock it back.

The sad part is we can't look at each other to say I love you anymore, she gave up and so did I.

I ended up falling asleep once I got done eating and so I missed dinner so I ate it for breakfast and when I would get home after school.
*4 months pass and its my birthday.*

Saturday morning and I'm going to the DMV across from my house to get my learners to drive. I get them and I drive home. I ask all my friends to come to my house to hang for a little, no one came, except my friend Kayla but only for 30 minutes before she left. I went to bed as always because my mom and my step father weren't home...oh well.

Its just another day where no one cares. Before inlay down I go over the same 5 cuts on my right wrist before I go to bed and I never tell anyone.

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