Mother Nature

The Rain

April 19, 1996
On my birthday, it all happened. All I can remember was water. Lots of it. It was falling from the sky. Drops of all sizes caressed my skin in the warm spring air. It was the last thing I saw of her. But I couldn't see her face. I wouldn't remember what she looked like anyways. I wanted to at least say goodbye. But no. She left me. She left me in the rain. The only thing that reminds me of her. Water. Really? How could she. I was so small and innocent in the world. But I couldn't help myself. Crying wouldn't help. Screaming wouldn't help. She didn't want me. I had to live with that. Why? I ask my self. Why so small? Why under this water? Why is the sky crying? Is it alone too?... She walked away in the rain with out hesitating to turn around and leave me a smile. Squirming around in the basket soaking wet. Thinking of nothing but why. Come back to me. Please. Goodbye mother.

It stopped raining. I saw a light shine over me. I don't remember if I was happy or confused. But I smiled. A very weak smile. Was it real? I don't know. I stood there in the basket for a couple days. She left me bottles of milk. Your probably thinking I was like a couple months old. Well I was two. Two years old alone in the woods were no one will find me.
I eventually got out and began to walk. I remember grabbing green berries from bushes and breaking branches off them. I began to discover new things.
June 9, 1999
Exploring. It was my new word. At the age five I began to look for things I haven't seen before. Like fields of lavender. The smell was consuming my mind. It made me feel calm. I wish my mother was here to see this. I wish we can explore together. But we can't.
September 1, 2001
I started to feel more okay with being alone. When I turned seven I started understanding the world. But that didn't change anything. I tried to be happy but that made me more sad. Having the thought that I actually can be happy make me brake inside. How is it possible? How can I be happy now?

I would walk every morning to the river bank. I'll get myself a drink and wash my filthy body off. As I rubbed water against my arms I felt the sensation of rain caressing my skin once again. I started to cry. I cried so much. Hating myself because I had to ME. I sat there looking at my reflection in the water. Thats when I heard her. She said its okay. Who was she? The sound is coming from the wind. I can feel it. Was I hallucinating? I was scared. But then I wasn't. I began to follow it.