Demigods and Wands

Killer Quest

Anyone get the title reference?

 Anyway, I don't own anything but the plot.

Enjoy

Percy POV

"So..." Chiron started. "You have a quest and-"

"I'm going to need you to stop right there!" Thalia yelled. "I am not. Going. On. A. Quest." She pointed her dagger at Chiron just to make a point. I agreed with her.

All the head counselors, and for some reason Thalia too, were in the Big House because Chiron had an important announcement. Annabeth and I were already here on our summer break from college in New Rome, and Piper, Leo, and Calypso came for a visit too. Thalia had somehow convinced Lady Artemis to visit when we were all here too.

"I can not. This quest was assigned by Hecate, Hades, and Hera." he responded. Annabeth chose a couple curse words in that moment that I thought described Hera perfectly.

Chiron looked horror-stricken by what she said. "Four of you shall be going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Bacon acne?" Connor shouted, unable to contain his comments or his laughter.

"Who's going?" Annabeth asked, clearly already annoyed by Connor. Sometimes I'm still surprised Annabeth didn't murder him after the last war.

"Since this is an assassination, I was hoping Mr. di Angelo would go." Nico nodded, and was about to say something, but Chiron continued. "And I know you insist on needing your doctor, so yes, your boyfriend is coming too. The other two are Percy and Reyna, who we have already informed about this quest and will be here in the morning."

"Why am I here if I'm not on this quest?" Thalia asked, annoyed.

"You said this was an assassination," I observed, ignoring Pinecorn Face. "Who are we killing?"

"A man who goes by the name Harry Potter. He avoided death, and Hecate's use for him is over, and they want him dead," Chiron responded.

"Is Reyna coming early morning, or late morning?" Leo asked. "I owe her ten bucks, and if it's early morning, I can pretend to be asleep."

"She's coming right after breakfast." That thought of breakfast made me think of food. Blue cookies and waffles popped into my mind.

"Speaking of which, I need food. If you need me, I'll be at dinner," I announced, leaving before Chiron or Annabeth could object.

I sat at the Poseidon table, eating my chicken nuggets. (I started eating them a lot after explaining to Hazel what they are. They're just addicting.) Piper and Annabeth slid next to me. After the Giant War, Chiron seemed to forget about the table rule, and we were trying to take full advantage of it. Annabeth, Piper, and I usually sat at my table. Nico sat with Will at the Apollo Table. Leo usually didn't come to eat meals, Calypso would come over, eat with us, then bring his lunch to the bunker. Even though it's been months, no one will ever sit at the Zeus Table. Piper couldn't even look at it at one point after Jason died.

"Little warning, Seaweed Brain. I overheard the Stolls talking about you on the way to your table. Prepare to be pranked," Annabeth pointed her grilled cheese at the Stolls as she talked.

"Did you see the prank they pulled on the Demeter Cabin?" Piper laughed. They gave them a poison touch curse, so every time they touched a plant, it would die. They had a heart attack and almost killed Travis."

"That's what the dead grass everywhere was," I snapped my fingers in realization. "I thought Nico was just being moody."

"I am not moody!" Nico called from the Apollo Table. Almost everyone in the pavilion shouted in disagreement. Nico scowled and went back to his conversation.

"What do you think about their quest?" Annabeth asked. "There hasn't been an assassination quest in forever."

"Well that's because I put the sass in assassination, and I've been busy with other quests," I spread my arms as I said this, giving a winning smile. Piper snorted.

"Well I put the cute in execute," she responded.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "I put the laugh in manslaughter."

"I put the fun in funeral," Nico said, walking over.

"Since 1932!" I exclaimed. "But I put the sexy in dyslexia."

Everyone stared at me for about thirty seconds before realization came over me. "F**k."

"Got bored of the Apollo Table?" Annabeth asked Nico.

He nodded. "I'm pretty sure they're going to start aggressively singing Bohemian Rhapsody any second now." I looked over and saw Kayla and Austin yelling at Yan.

"So, are you excited for our quest?" I asked. Nico snorted and threw his plate on my table, causing half of it to fall off, but he didn't seem to care.

"Is that even a question at this point?" he said as he sat down. Annabeth nodded in agreement.

"But aren't you happy you're staying with your... doctor?" Piper leaned in and wore a mischievous smile. Nico blushed, cleared his throat, got up, and left the table, not even bothering to bring his food. Leo walked in in his place, his arm around Calypso.

"Mention the Doctor?" Leo wiggled his eyebrows, and started eating Nico's food.

"Yep," I popped the 'p'. "What are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, it's great actually having you at meals, but you're not working on anything at the Bunker?"

"Nah," Leo took one of my chicken nuggets. "I finished all of my things-"

"-then I pulled him out before he could start on anything else." Calypso finished.

"Literally," Leo added. "She just pulled my arm and snuck out."

"Well, I would have snuck out if you didn't yell loudly about your shoulder," Calypso threw her arms up. I started laughing at that.

"It hurt, mamacita! I would prefer to die again than do that!" Leo yelled. Calypso rolled her eyes. The son of Hephestus smirked at his victory.

"So, Beauty Queen, how's your sense of smell? It's still good right?" Leo asked.

Piper gave a confused smile. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, after smelling heavy perfume day after day in the pink coffin you call a cabin," Leo propped his feet on the table.

"I guess, why?" Piper asked.

"No reason," Leo smiled mischievously. Piper's face went from joking to terror, knowing what Leo could do. Annabeth laughed at this.

"You prank either of us, and I'll end you," Annabeth glared at Leo. It was his turn to go from joking to horror. I laughed.

"I like having someone scary as my girlfriend," I wrapped my arm around Annabeth. She smiled at me. We ignored the problem of our nightmares, hoping Chiron had some sort of solution.

After dinner, I met Will, Nico, and Reyna at the Big House. Because of the time difference, we were leaving now, when it's late. I greeted Reyna, then Nico shadow-traveled us to England. My last thought before getting sucked into the darkness was: I really hate Hera.

I know that last line was random, but he has ADHD, deal with it.