𝑅𝑢𝑛𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 (𝐻𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛)

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑦: 𝐼𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑎𝑑?

Trigger warning mentions of self harm, depression and other sensitive subjects.

Hope Mikealson's POV
I wake up around 3 am shaking uncontrollably I wasn't sure why but I wasn't even scared, and I didn't even have a nightmare that I knew of. Then I came to the conclusion it was from the cutting I had done earlier sometimes after cutting I would get shaking sometimes get a fever but I would be fine in a couple hours so I just cuddled up closer to Landon before shutting my eyes I couldn't sleep though I was just shaking uncontrollably but Landon felt it and woke up with a worried look on his face. "Baby what's wrong?" He asked looking at me knowing I wasn't asleep. "Nothing I'm fine."
I reply not wanting him to worry or know about the cutting. "Hope you're burning up." Landon said after feeling me head. "It'll be okay in a few hours." I say not really concerned because this use to happen a lot but at this point I was burning up my skin felt like it was on fire and I was sweating and my breathing started getting a little heavy. "Okay your not fine come on let's get you cooled off." Landon said before picking me up and carrying me to the bathroom. "Babe I'm sorry." I say knowing he was going to see that cuts and they were too fresh to lie about. "About what baby?" Landon asked slightly confused before turning the water on and making sure the water was warm. "Your going to have to lay in the tub I don't want you falling." He adds before I nod and sit there for a minute before taking my clothes off. Of course he instantly saw the cuts. Tears formed in his eyes before he took my arm and kissed every single one of them. "I'm sorry babe, I'm so sorry. I don't know how to stop it all hurts too bad." I say with a broken voice I was feeling sad and numb and scared all at the same time. He gently sat me down on the floor before rapping his arms around me. "It's not your fault babygirl, I'm so sorry this is happening to you." He said heartbroken because of this. I felt like crying but I couldn't I just held onto him. "I've tried to limit myself so I couldn't hurt the baby but I lost control I cut deeper then I had liked, the fever is because of it." I say. Landon sighed before feeling the water to make sure it wasn't to hot or cold. "I kinda figured that. You want me to go why you shower?" He asked even though I was already naked if I cared about him seeing naked he would already be out. "No can you join me?" I ask to which he almost instantly nods yes before taking his clothes off as well and then helping me into the tub before getting in himself. I just let the warm water run down my face as I laid in the tub which was filled with water as Landon rapped his arms around me and held me. I didn't wash off or anything I already told a shower earlier that night I was just getting cooled down. "I wanna cuddle." I whine still feeling bad and I sometimes got clingy when I was sick. "You can as soon as we get you cooled down then I'll hold you for the rest of the night." Landon said before feeling my head.

Landon Kirby's POV
I felt Hope's head making sure she wasn't burning up anymore and she wasn't lucky. Let's just say I was terrified and pissed at the same time. Pissed because I knew everyone just kept pushing and pushing until she was she was breaking down, she tried to hide it but I knew how bad it hurt her and I think the babies may have been causing hormones that was messing with her depression. After she was cooled down I help her out before grabbing towels and rapping it around myself as Hope did the same. "Babe I don't want you putting on clothes that are too thick, it could get your fever up." I say before putting my clothes on. Hope then put on her undergarments before just putting a oversized shirt on that was almost sure was mine I then picked her up before carrying her to the bed. She was tiny so I can carry her easily. Hope then cuddled up against my chest I was a little taken back by this because normally she would do everything in her power to push me away but I was happy she was letting me help her I hated seeing her like this more then anything in the world, out of all the pain I've endured over my life nothing hurt me worse then seeing the love of my life hurting. It didn't take long for Hope to fall back asleep as she has been having a hard time sleeping lately. I didn't go to sleep for a few hours mostly fantasizing over kicking Jed's ass and trying to think of ways to help my girl. I then fell asleep holding Hope.

~The next morning~
Hope Mikealson's POV
I woke up rapped in Landon's arms with my head on his chest I enjoyed laying like that, hearing his heartbeat calmed me down I'm not sure how though. I felt a little better then the day before everything felt normal. But then I remembered I actually had to go deal with people again. 'Ughh I can't wait until summer break' I thought to myself before kissing Landon's cheek before trying to get up to get ready for the day but Landon pulled me back down. "Stay." He mumbles tiredly as he was still pretty much asleep. I chuckle slightly before rapping my arms back around him. "Baby we gotta get up." I say. He just looked at me and shook his head. "No we don't, it's Saturday." He said as he cuddled me closer. "Yes but we have a meeting, and~" I say before he cuts me off. "Don't finish that sentence." He said. "Why not?" I ask. "Because if you say it we'll have to get up and I don't want to yet." Landon said before I pout and sit in his lap forward so I could face him. "Babe come on we don't have a choice." I say but Landon just smirked before rubbing my thigh. "Now I'm definitely not getting up." He said. I moan softly before leaning in to kiss him. He kissed me back and I could feel his "problem" as we kissed. I wanted to tease him but knew we didn't have time to do it. "Mmm Landon you know we gotta go." I say as he kisses my neck while I let out quiet moans. "Five more minutes?" Landon asked. "Fine but just five." I I say before kissing him again while  grinding my hips against him. I could feel him getting harder but I found it sweet he still wanted me in that way even though I looked well like a dumpster fire. "Baby your so beautiful." He mumbled in between kissing me. "No I'm not." I say before he stops and looks at me. "Yes you are." He said. "How I look like I freakin hippo." I say. "No you don't babe you barely have a belly. Your not fat your actually very skinny your chest does not count as your stomach." He said and I mean he had a point I was a little bit skinny but I was thick so I was just instantly made to think I was overweight. "You are actually a little underweight for being pregnant with twins." He added. "Am I selfish putting my looks over the babies well-being?" I asked now feeling bad knowing he had a point. "No babe your not, not one bit. Look I know you're not trying to put the babies in danger I know you wouldn't do that, I think that you hurt and needed someway to numb the pain but babe their are other ways there are always other options." Landon said before taking my hands in his. "But I don't know what else to do, this is what I've always done I don't know anything else." I say that was the first time I've ever told anyone that. "How long Hope?" Landon asked. "Four in a half years." I replied looking away not able to look in his eyes I felt so ashamed. "Baby- I don't even know what to say I'm so sorry." Landon said with genuine sorrow written all over his face. I couldn't say anything after this point it's like the words were stuck in my throat. I knew I was bad but I guess I just never realized how bad it actually was. Did I have a serious problem?