6 months (iwaizumi x oikawa)

chapter 23 - the end

It was June 3rd, the day after Iwaizumi's funeral. Oikawa had not been able to sleep since Iwaizumi's death. He had tried, but every night he saw Hajime and woke up. He wished he could see Hajime alive, but he sees him lying on the floor bleeding every single night. Oikawa held the green scarf tighter in his hand and closed his eyes. He had spent the days thinking of what to do now without Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi had plans and goals, he had told him. He planned to become a professional trainer, didn't he? Tooru looked at his knee. "I can't become an athlete." he muttered. Thinking about it was moronic, since he had already decided on a career path. He would not let Iwaizumi die in vain. He would put his plans into action. He smiled sadly. He would live on for Iwaizumi.

The former setter was not a fan of living for anyone, but the situation had changed. If he gave up his life now, Iwaizumi would have died in vain. He was to blame for the death of his best friend, but he didn't want his death to be meaningless. "Tooru, are you coming? We'll drive you to the cemetery!" his mother called. Oikawa stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. The bags under his eyes had grown darker and he looked quite broken. "I'm coming." he replied and went out.

"We'll wait in the car." his parents had said. Tooru walked slowly in the cemetery, trying to remember where Iwaizumi's grave was. "My sense of direction is really terrible at this." he muttered, looking around. It had always been his best friend who had helped him. Tooru couldn't describe how grateful he was to him. Even in his childhood, it had been Iwa who had helped him. Even if he complained about it, he knew it had never bothered him. His smile had betrayed him. Tooru stopped. "Actually, it should be around here somewhere." he said softly, closing his eyes with a sigh. "Why are you sighing?" he heard a voice. Oikawa didn't dare to open his eyes. "Am I dreaming?" he muttered and opened his eyes. He saw Iwaizumi in a black hoodie in front of him. "Your sense of direction really sucks." Iwaizumi said, walking forward. "Yet you know exactly where it is - you just don't want to find it. It's always been that way!" he added. Oikawa felt a single tear run down his cheek. "You're probably right." he said softly, following him. He knew that Iwaizumi wasn't really there. It was pure hallucination and yet it made him happy. "Even now you're helping me, Hajime."

Iwaizumi stopped in front of a grave and turned to Oikawa. "I was really sad because you didn't say goodbye properly yesterday." he said with a smile. "But now you're saying goodbye properly, right?" he asked him. His voice sounded incredibly sad. Oikawa knelt down and placed the bouquet of flowers on Iwaizumi's grave. "Of course I'll say goodbye properly." he replied, watching as Iwaizumi sat down beside him. "There's so much I wanted to say to you." Oikawa whispered, wiping away tears. "And absolutely no crying.", he added with a light laugh. Hajime looked at him happily. "I saved you." he remarked. Those words hit Oikawa more than they should have. His chest tightened and he nodded. "You saved me." he replied. "Just like you promised me you would." he added. "I won't always be able to help you, Tooru." Iwaizumi explained. "But I will try to stay by your side.". Oikawa bit his lower lip and tried to hold back the tears. "It's okay, shittykawa.". Oikawa shook his head. "You can cry.", Iwaizumi explained. "I'll stay with you until you feel better." he added. "Why did I have to be so selfish?", Oikawa asked him, sobbing. "You still had so many plans." he breathed. Iwaizumi shook his head. "It was my destiny to save you. I died so that you could continue to shine.". Oikawa looked at the ground. "Stop blaming yourself already, shittykawa.". Oikawa turned around. "Please don't expect me to let you go." Tooru whispered. Hajime sighed and looked him in the eye. "I swear to you...", he began. "...if you let go of me, I'll never forgive you." he said. Oikawa knew it wasn't the right moment to say those words, but it was probably his last chance. "Hajime?" he muttered. Iwaizumi looked at him, waiting. "To me, you're perfect." he whispered, smiling. "I'm honestly glad to have met you.". Oikawa was sure Iwaizumi would have slapped him on the back of the head by now. "Don't steal my line, shittykawa.", he said and closed his eyes. "Alright.", Oikawa replied and closed his eyes as well. "I love you, Hajime.". "I love you too, Tooru."

When Oikawa opened his eyes, Iwaizumi was gone. He smiled gently. "He loved you too." he heard a voice and winced. He turned around and saw Kageyama. "How long have you been standing there?", Oikawa wanted to know."I just heard the 'I love you' thing." the black-haired one answered honestly, placing a teddy bear on Hajime's grave. "He gave that to you in middle school, didn't he?", Oikawa wanted to know and stood up. Kageyama nodded and forced a smile on his face. "You won't let yourself fall in love again, will you?" he asked him. Oikawa shook his head and looked up. "No, never again." he replied. "Do you think that's what Iwaizumi wanted?" the younger man asked. Oikawa nodded. "That's exactly what he wanted. And even if it's not, I don't plan to change it. I don't need a relationship to be happy. I'll do my best." he explained, stretching. "There will never be anyone like Hajime again." he added. He was sure that Iwaizumi was watching him right now.   

"Live on for me, Tooru."