6 months (iwaizumi x oikawa)

chapter 17 - my reason

Oikawa actually had to smile a little. "Do you really want to confirm Takeru's suspicions that far?" he wanted to know and sighed. "I just want them to stop," he added. "Try to talk to them calmly about it. Not an argument - just a conversation.", Iwaizumi replied with a slight smile. Oikawa looked up at the sky. "How easy life would be up there."

After that day, the two had not exchanged a word. Iwaizumi didn't know how to deal with Oikawa after Oikawa mentioned that life would be easier in heaven. He felt bad because he was supposed to be there for him, yet at that moment he didn't know how. How could he help him when Oikawa's look revealed that he was done with life? Can you really change someone's mind like that? Iwaizumi looked at his suitcase. Would he live for Oikawa if nothing else would keep him alive? He didn't want to have to answer that question. He wouldn't want to let Oikawa down, but he didn't know what it was like to have no reason to live. Iwaizumi could not imagine this situation. Even as a child, he preferred to grow very old. He sighed and closed his eyes. "As a child, this idiot wanted to grow old, too," he muttered. Wasn't it selfish to want Oikawa to live for him? No. That wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to help him live on his own.

"There you are finally," Iwaizumi said, waving to Oikawa. It was Friday, February 5, and the two of them planned to stay in Osaka until February 7. That was later than planned, but Iwaizumi preferred that Oikawa settle his problems first before leaving again. Otherwise, he would never be able to enjoy Osaka. He could still set the date so that they could attend the snow festival. Thus, there would be fireworks, which he really wanted to see with his best friend. Unfortunately, there wasn't much snow, however, Iwaizumi was much more concerned with the fireworks. "I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier," Oikawa apologized, grabbing the back of his head. "At least I'm on time, right?" he was right. The train wasn't here yet so it was on time.

Oikawa sat down by the window and leaned his head against it. "The train goes directly to Osaka so it takes about 2 1/2 hours to get there. From there, we're welcome to take a cab to the hotel and drop off our stuff. If you're not knackered after that, we could go and see some sights.", Iwaizumi said to his friend and sat down next to him. "We could go to Osaka Castle," Oikawa suggested. Iwaizumi nodded and looked at Oikawa. "How are you?" he wanted to know. "Quite okay. I'm a little tired, but everything else is fine.", Oikawa mumbled and closed his eyes. Was he mad because Iwaizumi had avoided him? That had never been his intention. He didn't want to avoid, hurt, or upset Oikawa, but he was afraid to speak up. He bit his lower lip and nudged Oikawa once. "Do you want to listen to music with me?" he asked him. Tooru's expression brightened. " Of course I want to!" he said, digging out his earphones. "What song do you want to listen to?", Iwaizumi wanted to know. "How about Yoru Ga Akeru?", the setter suggested and plugged in his earphones. Iwaizumi nodded. "I'll trust you with your music for once."

His music was really nice. Iwaizumi didn't know what it felt like, but it was pleasant. It was as if he was in another universe. At the song Fuyu no Hanashi, Iwaizumi noticed that Oikawa was shaking and took his hand to make him feel comfortable. He didn't know what about that song had made him shake, but he wanted to end it. He wanted to enjoy this moment with Oikawa without feeling bad about anything. Iwaizumi wanted Tooru's smile to finally be real again. He couldn't wait to see the sparkle in his eyes again.

"Hajime?" said Oikawa as he entered the hotel room. "There's only a single bed.". Iwaizumi nodded. " It was cheaper.", he explained. Oikawa looked at him in confusion. "I could have paid too I- should I sleep on the sofa?". Iwaizumi shook his head. "Tooru, the bed is the same size as my bed at home. You slept next to me there without any problem, didn't you? What's the problem today?" he wanted to know. Oikawa shrugged his arms uncertainly. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," he muttered. "You partially ended up sleeping on me when you were a kid. I'm not going to feel uncomfortable about something like that, dumbass."

The setter threw himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "There's a park at Osaka Castle, isn't there?" he wanted to know. "Yes, if you like we can walk around there a bit.", Iwaizumi replied and sat down on the bed. " We can do that if you like, yes. Fresh air is always good.", Oikawa said and pressed a pillow against his upper body. Iwaizumi pulled the pillow away from him and smirked slightly. "If we laze around now, it'll get really dark," he complained and stood up. Oikawa sighed and sat up. "But we're not doing much today, are we? I want to go to sleep early tonight.", he said and slowly got up. "You got it, idiot. Now put on a jacket again and let's go before it gets late after all."

The drive to Osaka Castle took half an hour. In those 30 minutes, Oikawa was determined to identify everything he recognized on the road. "Shall we go for a walk first?", Hajime wanted to know after he got out of the taxi. Oikawa nodded and looked him in the eye. "I've thought about some things," Oikawa started and walked off. Iwaizumi walked beside him and looked at him questioningly. "Until you find a reason to live for me..." he said, then fell silent. He took a deep breath and looked up with his eyes closed. "Until you find a reason to live for me, you will be my reason to live, Hajime."