𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙿𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚙 - 𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝

Summary: you're in love with your best friend. James potter.

Warnings: ANGST

Falling in love with someone is hard enough on its own. But falling in love with your best friend is a completely new type of pain. You'd fallen in love with James potter.

James was your friend since your first year. You bonded over your love of quidditch and messing around, you grounded each other and made each other feel as though they'd always have someone to offload onto.

You were friends with the other marauders too, you were like a small family. You remembered seeing James after summer in your fourth year and the strange tingly feeling you felt in your stomach. You'd watch what you say around him more often, and apply a little more makeup if you knew you were going to hang out.

But sadly you were sure James never noticed. You were still just his best friend. And you weirdly feared that you might only ever be just that.

You tried to keep your indifference as time went on. But one day you really couldn't stop yourself. You were meeting James in the common room to hang out like you did most weeks.

When you had turned up he immediately hugged you with a huge grin, you hated how fast your heartbeat and how you didn't want to pull away from his warm embrace.

"Y/n... what took you so long I have so much to tell you..." James bellowed as he finally pulled away leading you over to the sofa where you both sat cross-legged facing each other, similar to two tween girls at a sleepover.

"Right go on then... a new prank idea? Quidditch fixture?" You guessed with a small smile.

"No... no, it's uh it's actually because I have a date on Saturday... with Lily!"

Your ears rang and as he began to rant relentlessly about how excited he was it felt like your world was crumbling down. How could you even pretend that there was any chance now, he loved another, and now he finally had the chance to pursue her. What made things worse is lily was also a close friend of yours, it felt as though life was torturing you.

You wanted to be selfish and scream and cry but you just couldn't, you just felt numb.

"That's brilliant James..." you mumbled to try and stop his inherent rambling.

"Merlin don't sound too happy..." he muttered sarcastically.

"What do you want me to do? Shout from the rooftops about how happy I am? I know it's hard to believe but I have other shit going on, I don't have time to celebrate for the almighty James Potter!" You spat bitterly with instant regret at how James physically recoiled at your harsh words. You were never hurtful or mean towards him, likewise with James.

"I didn't say that but you could try to be happy for me... instead of being a spiteful bitch..." he spat in return.

Your heart sunk and tears finally began to pool in your eyes as your glared at him "Fuck you..."

And with that you stormed out of the common room, ignoring Sirius and Remus's concerned Hollers as you passed them by. You'd fucked up. So had he in all fairness, but now not only had you lost the fantasy of being romantically involved with James, but you'd also lost your best friend.

*********

Weeks passed by and you did everything and anything to avoid James. His words hadn't even hurt you that much, yeah they were mean but you knew he didn't mean them. What hurt more was the fact that he'd slipped through your fingers.

Lily was also getting the silent treatment from you, which was even more awkward since you shared a dorm. You didn't even have the luxury of hating her. Lily was truly the kindest person you knew, in-fact you were sure she and James were going to be great with each other, that stung like a bitch.