Her little cousin sang an old church song about how Jesus makes every lost easier and how the dead are in better places. If you go to a better place when you die, why doesn't anyone really want to die.
I sat there breathing like I've been holding my breath for hours, crying like I've just been stabbed 28 times in the stomach. Terren just sat there holding my face into his chest to smother my noises.
"It's gon be okay," he whispered petting my hair. It really wasn't though. It was never gonna be okay. After the song, everybody went up to her and put a flower next to her. Terren and I went at the same time. He sat the flower down and I pulled the pins out of her hair so the bun fell. Now, she looked like Kimma. Terren gave me a weird look, but I knew he wouldn't understand if I explained it.
...
"Royce, are you coming to the dinner?" Mr. Keller asked. I shook my head. "I'm sorry but I can't. I need to go lay down," I replied. He nodded and left behind the hearse.
Terren drove me home since I was too shaky to drive. "You need me to stay?"he asked. My mama wasn't home and my sister was gone too. "Yes," I whispered. He took off his clothes and got in bed with me. I got as close to him as I could and sighed.
He gave me a soft kiss. "Ain't no sense in getting depressed, Royce," he said,"You gotta stop thinking about it." "Terren, I still feel like it's my fault. I feel like I should've paid more attention to her..." "Royce, You was her best friend, Not her girlfriend. It's not yo job to give her all yo attention and be at her side every minute of the day," he said. I sighed. He was right, but I didn't like how he said it. "And being depressed and acting crazy ain't gon make you feel no better or make her come back, Royce, so you gotta get over it."
