Funny Hardbass Man (Ruv x Reader Oneshots) // FNF //

🍋 || 𝕷𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝕯𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑 || 🍋 ||Ruvx!DemonReader||

((This is lemon, so it's gonna get a little dirty, folks!))

(I put a song up there that could be useful when reading. Don't have to, though!)

"I've told you several times, dear, it'll be fine. He's OK with demons...ish." 
"I know. I'm just a little nervous..."

Sarvente was untying your hair after a long day of gardening in front of the church. It took forever and you were sweaty as hell. Ruv would be coming back from the city a bit late today, and Sarv had been pushing you to tell him the thing you feared most.
Before you were born, your mother had made a deal with a demon on earth. She traded a part of your being for a blessing that you'd be safe from the grips of hell. But she'd been tricked- and the part of you was replaced by sin itself. You always wondered what your life would've been like had that not had happened... but it did ultimately lead you here to the church. All's well that ends well, I guess. You've wanted to tell Ruv for almost a year now, but what if he hated you? What if he broke it off with you? Y/N, stop telling yourself this stuff. He'd never do that...

right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sunset was gorgeous, but you never felt more on edge. He'd be back any time now... just a manner of minutes. You were still a sweaty disaster from earlier. Only downside from being part hellian was the fact water wasn't really an option. Usually you would just comb your hair, stand in front of the AC, anything else. But nothing ceased the cold sweat you had. Sarvente was expecting you to tell him. After all, you did promise.
Suddenly, the doors slammed open, and Ruv looking a hot mess... emphasis on hot, stormed in. He had his face covered in some sort of dirt or dust, and his jacket was halfway down his arms. 
"Don't slam that door."
"Shut it."
He threw down a bag and angrily sat down in a pew, groaning in pain as he did so. You looked up at Sarvente in a "Well, it would be just wonderful to tell him now, wouldn't it?" look. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, before sitting next to him.
"What happened?"
"Just a long day. I'm exhausted."
"Maybe you should go lie down."
"Yea- yea, I'm going to go do that.
You watched him disappear down the hall to his secret little room near the back. You sighed and plopped down in the same pew.
"Now's the perfect time."
"Are you insane?! He's pissed at the moment. I'm not in a mood to get yelled at."
"Trust me, it'll be fine. Go talk to him."
You sighed. Sarv did usually know best... so you stood up to go face him yourself. But your arm was snagged back, and she undid your hairpiece's final strand, letting your hair fall loose and allowing your horns to spring upwards. You took a final deep breath, before surely heading to your doom. The dark hall loomed ominously before you, and you found his door with the 'Janitor's Closet' sign. Slowly, you turned the knob and peeked in. The only light on was one next to his desk that was a tiny ice cream cone lamp that let off a soft blue glow. Ruv was lying down and tossing a rubix cube in the air and catching it again. He sat up and looked at you for a moment before sighing heavily and flopping back down.
"Come... in..." His words were slurred.
You entered his little cave, and stared at the mess around it. Papers, clothes, trinkets and stolen items were everywhere. It smelled of morning dew and grass- the exact opposite of what you'd think a room that looks like this would smell like. It didn't really suit you. You liked neat, orderly things. But now was not the time to harass him to clean the place.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"Couldn't be better." He tossed the cube up and down again. The shiny surface reflected the pale blue light and glinted every now and then.
"So why are you acting so mad?"
"I'm not."
His voice had an undertone of not just anger- pure hatred. Something obviously happened, and you were determined to find out. 
"You are, I know you. Come on; you can tell me." You smiled.
"It's too bad that I'm not sayin' shit."
"Ruvyzvat." You gave him a stern frown.
He took hold of your lower neck and shoulder and pushed you against the edge of his bedframe. Air left your lungs and after you gasped, he let you go. 
"Don't use my name like that unless you want bad stuff to follow." He stopped and turned to you again. "Wait a minute-"
You froze as he felt around the top of your head, and wrapped his hand around one of your horns. A click sounded, and light flooded the room. He was staring at you in shock, and a little flustered. His face quickly returned to a set scowl, and he sat back down again. 
"I'm not turned on by demon dress up shit. I live with Sarv, so that'd be weird."
"What?! That's not-"
"Just don't bother trying shit. Not in the greatest mood."
"God, stop moping and just fucking tell me!"
"No."
"Rover." You smugly said. It was an old nickname you used to make fun of him with before stopping a year or so ago. But now seemed like a time to use it. The same feeling of breathlessness came again as he elbowed your gut.
"I said to quit it."
"Make me, Ruvyzat-Roverman."
Ruv knocked you off the bed and pinned you to the floor, and panting heavily. You intertwined your arms with his and tried to get him off of you. He was several bits heavier, and it was hard as hell. He took the hint, and rolled over. Apparently that wasn't the only hard thing.
"You sure you don't like this 'dress up'?" You smirked and leaned down to his face.
His face filled red, and you turned off the light again. The blue light filled the room again. You began to undo the buttons on your blouse, and tossed it aside. He slowly started to shuffle around a little, and you felt his shorts slide off onto the floor.
"Sorry you had a bad day."
"Eh, a little secret. Maybe the costume did help a bit."
"About tha-"
Before you could utter another syllable, he swooped you up and set you back down on his bed again, and went down on you, making you softly moan. He caressed your body down to your hips, before thrusting again and pressing against your face. You reached your arms into his shirt and wrapped around his bare torso, pulling him down towards you again. How does he always manage to smell good? He came back covered in dirt and dust. Today it was the faint smell of smoke and gasoline. You snickered and let your head rest in the crook of his neck, slowly moving your body away from him. He sat up and looked at you, confused.
"Where are you going?" He sounded angry, and started to move towards you.
"I think you've had your fill, you horny bastard." You smiled in the dark at him.
But Ruv had other ideas, taking both of the spikes protruding out of your head and tugging them back, making you lie down again. 
"Not just yet."
He shoved two of his fingers quickly into you, and the blue light from your vision went dark, stars crossing over your eyes. It was times like these you were thankful his door locked, despite Sarvente knowing of your relationship. However, you both knew she wouldn't condone such actions in her church. Thankfully, she went to deal with things in her room. When he finally stopped, and your vision returned, you sat up and grinned at him, slipping your clothes on again.
"You know those aren't fake, right?"
"What isn't?"
"The 'costume'. It's... all real."
Ruv touched them again, and slightly reeled backwards.
"Wait, so both you and Sarv?"
"Yea, our situations just are different."
"What- how long have you been hiding this?!"
"Mm... kinda... since we met? Heh..."
...
Shit. It's too silent. He's just standing there.
But suddenly, his face flashed a quick grin. You knew it was a real one- not just your imagination. And you knew it probably hurt him, but it was a smile regardless.
"You are a mysterious one, aren't you?"
"I'm just a little devil." 
He cringed at that, but it didn't take his good attitude away.
"So... is it... too weird?"
"Actually- it's fine. Confused why you didn't tell me sooner, actually."
"Oh thank god-"
"I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll see you later."
"You too!"
He shot you finger guns and winked, before shutting his door. You sat down and ran your fingers through your hair. He was so casual about it, like as if he didn't just give her the best sex ride she'd had in a while.

"Noticed he's in a better mood. You really work wonders, y/n."
"I guess I do! And he knows now... that's a load off my chest."
"I would guess so!" Sarvente turned to leave, before looking back at you. "Oh, and y/n?"
"Yes?" You said, slipping on your shoes again.
"Try to be a little quieter next time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOW OK SO UH THAT was probably the first time I've written smut- heh- sorry if it was terrible, I'm trying to learn dfkgjhm. Have a good day, everybody! ^^