Shadows of Our Pasts

Chapter 6 - A Good Friend

Recap:

"My real, full name is Xantara Winters and I am the leader of the Godless Shadows..."

"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. So, are you ready to be brave?"

Now:

Though I was expecting a bit of a shock, I wasn't exactly prepared for the wide-eyed blank stares that I received following my confession and offer The group seemed to be frozen in shock as they tried to process what I had told them. I understood though, especially with everything else that's happened today.

Slowly, my hands fell from their positions as Cry seemed to be too busy thinking about my words to worry about accepting my handshake. I brought them back up soon after, crossing my arm so that my left resting under my right elbow while my right hand rested on the side of my neck, awkwardly scratching the skin there. 

"This...must be difficult to process, right?" I leaned back against the wall, finally breaking the awkward silence as they still were sharing dumbfounded looks with each other, silently asking each other what to do. 

I closed my eyes and rested my head back against the wall, sighing heavily. I guess it was too much to ask for them to continue to act normally around me rather than treating me like im not just a normal person.

Finally, someone other than me spoke, shaking the others out of their own thoughts as well. 

"Xantara Winters..." what came out was almost a whisper as Jund stepped forward, a huge smile breaking through the shock that was on his face before. "You really do stay true to your first name, huh Miss Winters?"

I smiled and opened my eyes, only to fall back into an almost comical sweatdrop expression as I looked at him. Jund quickly dropped into a kneeling position, his hand on his own heart as he bowed his head to me. The others quickly followed suit - even Cry, who tripped himself into his own kneeling position since he frantically jumped up from the window seat before bowing down. 

"E-Eh??" I put my hands out in front of me, trying to tell them to relax but I was quickly cut off as Jund continued. 

"I don't know about these guys but I, for one, would be absolutely honored to accept your offer, Miss Winters." The others nodded in agreement, excitement passing through each of their faces as they looked at each other, still not standing back up.

"I - look, that's amazing guys! Im glad, really, but...you know you don't have to bow right?" I laughed awkwardly, embarrassed that they were still doing it. "Please, I don't wan't you to treat me as anything more than  your equal as an apocalypse survivor, y'know?" 

This time, Russ interjected. "But Winters, you're so much more than that! You- you're amazing! You're so talented and dedicated and passionate and strong and - and caring and-" 

This time I burst into laughter, but since they refused to stand I decided to sit criss-cross on the floor in front of them instead. "I didn't realize I had a fanboy here," I joked, causing his face to practically light up red as he continued to stutter.

"Actually, make that basically 4 fanboys," Cry quipped back, a lop-sided smile gracing his face as he was the first of the group to move from kneeling to joining me in just sitting on the floor. The others quickly followed suit, following the example their leader set.

"Well still, you are now my comrades - I know I'm a bit well known now-," I scratched my cheek, giving a closed-eye smile, "but you don't need to treat me like some sort of royalty. Don't boy or kneel or call me Miss Winters - that makes me sound old." I scolded half-heartedly, smiling at the now much more relaxed group."Just call me Xantara, or some people call me Tara. Please, just be yourselves. That's what I want most of all."

"Oh yeah, back to that-," Cry tilted his head to the side curiously, looking back at Jund. "Whaddaya mean by 'staying true to your name'?"

Jund and I both opened our mouths to respond, but I quickly smirked and gestured for him to continue. "Go ahead, I wanna see how much you know." 

He looked embarrassed, but responded to Cry anyway. "Xantara is a female name of American origin meaning "Protector of the Earth," right, Ms. Tara?" 

My eyebrow twitched as I stared at him, making him nervous again. "Yes, you're correct, but please, drop the "miss"!"

Cry laughed, playfully smaking Jund's shoulder. "Yeah dude, I would argue but she already told you it makes her feel old. Shouldn't you know better than to make a lady feel old?"

Jund blushed, stuttering as much as Russ did when I called him a fanboy. "W-well it's just- I just...I just want to show my respect and appreciation, y'know? A-and I dunno I just- I wanna show that this means a lot, especially with who she is." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at his lap. "You mean a lot to a lot of people, Xantara...you give us hope."

The others nodded in agreement, and now it was my turn to be embarrased over such a touching sentiment that he shared. I reached out and put my hand on his head, ruffling his hair as I smiled back at the group. 

"I'm glad you feel that way. I appreciate every ounce of respect you give me, but I would also rather that you show it in a different way. I just want you to treat me as a good friend, okay?"

They nodded, and a few more seconds of silence passed before Cry spoke up again. 

"So...about your proposal...?"