Your Name || yejisu

Chapter 17

The weight around my neck loosened up to finally disappear. I coughed heavily, trying to inhale the best I could. My vision came back to normal after a bit. Ryujin was still on top of me but she was turned toward Ningning, her arms limped to her side. The tiny girl was still held by Yuna and Chaeryeong but they slowly let go. They were all in shock after what she had said. Ningning's attention was on me however.

"Are you ok?"  she asked and the girls turned their gaze toward me. I nodded, massaging my throat as she rushed to my side.

"Are you?"  I difficulty let out in a hoarse voice. Ningning kneeled next to me and looked up at Ryujin who was still on top of me. I couldn't even find it funny or enjoy the pun of it. I was sure I would have a bruise tomorrow if it's not today. My throat was burning at every inhale. I coughed again. Ryujin was one hell of a fighter.

"Can you please get up from her?" Ningning asked in a small voice  " Please, Ryu?"

The girl in question was too shocked to even object, she got up looking at me one last time and I didn't like what I saw in her eyes. If death had eyes it would be hers. She joined Yuna and Chaeryeong who were still at the same place, observing the scene looking like they just looked into Medusa's eyes.

Ningning took a hold of my arm, helping me straightened up. I continued coughing, air feeling like fire in my body. As I got up, I felt a sharp pain in my ribs. I almost forgot about that one.

Once up, I glanced at the three girls who all had different expressions on their faces. Ryujin, well, looked like lasers would come out of her eyes to kill me, Yuna had her mouth open in complete shock and Chaeryeong looked like the soccer mom who actually knew nothing about soccer and was unsure if her kid did good or bad.

I glanced at Ningning who looked like she was ready to get scold but at the same time was owning it. I kind of felt proud and happy. For once in my life, someone else than my lover was actually on my side and I never expected it would be her. Our eyes met, I could see the uncertainty in them as well as the fear. I tried to send her an 'everything will be alright' look and her lips slightly rose up before she looked back at the three girls ahead.

"What do you mean by 'she's Lia's girlfriend'" Chaeryeong asked, air-quoting Ningning.

The tiny girl sighed, moving closer to them. I knew I shouldn't intervene and let her explain. It would be better this way, so I sat on a chair still rubbing my throat.

"I literally found out yesterday," she said, looking back at me but I didn't say anything instead I sent her an encouraging smile. " It started before her accident,"

"Bullshit,"   Ryujin interrupted, pointing ragingly in my direction " She took advantage of the fact that Lia was amnesic to feed her some delusional story...you sick bastard,"

I sighed, not even caring about the insult. I had had plenty and this one was just another to add to the pile. What pinched my heart was the fact that Lia was involved in this one. That's exactly what we had tried to avoid before and what I wanted to protect her from now.

"Let me speak," Ningning stood firm on her ground and I was rooting for her in my mind. I kind of liked her. She seemed like a great girl as I got to know her.

"Ok..OK...Talk, please," Chaeryeong took a hold of Ryujin's shoulder, pulling her back and trying to calm her  " We're listening,"

"Good," Ningning took a deep breath, pacing around  " It started before her accident,"  she looked at Ryujin who only scoffed but it was enough for Ningning to roll her eyes  "Lia is sure of it because she found her diaries,"

"She didn't write a diary,"

" Ryujin, shut the fuck up," Chaeryeong huffed exasperated.  "Let the kid speak,"

"Yeji and Lia had been together for a while but she didn't tell us and seriously can you blame her? I mean..."  she gestured toward Ryujin who scoffed. Chaeryeong seemed like she understood the point but Yuna still looked too shocked to even register what was happening.  " When Lia lost her memory, Yeji didn't press her into anything. Lia had to discover her diaries to understand what Yeji really meant to her. Yeji tried to be friendly but didn't know what to say or do,"

I was stunned by how Ningning seemed to understand me and the situation in general. To know exactly what had been happening. She must have talked a lot with Lia yesterday and thought about it a lot overnight. She kept to amaze me in every way. How could she have been one of my worst enemy yesterday and became one of the best person in my life today? So much could change in one day.

" Wait...so she's gay?"  Yuna suddenly snapped out of her daze.

"Well..."  Ningning was a little disconcerted  "Maybe...I mean she could be bi too,"  She sent me a desperate look, asking for help.

" She thinks she's gay,"  I interjected, all eyes came on me and I wished I had kept my mouth shut. Their judging faces made me really uncomfortable especially Ryujin's   " At least, that's what she thought before the accident. We haven't really talk about it yet,"  I cleared my throat, my voice still hoarse but it was getting better.

"This is a fucking nightmare," Ryujin huffed, throwing her hands in the air and pacing around.

"And that's exactly why Lia didn't tell us anything," Ningning answered without getting asked.

Ryujin turned toward her  "How can you be so chill with this?"  she raised her voice, coming closer and for a moment I thought she was going to grab her forcefully but she refrained, grabbing the air instead before taking a few steps back, frustration distorting her face. " It's not a good thing . She..."  she pointed at me  "she's not a good person and she's a...she's...a girl,"

" And how do you know she's not a good person, uh?" Ningning shouted  " Do you know her? No, I don't think so, because none of us tried to. You don't know one thing about her and I don't ever,"

It kind of saddened me that she was including herself in the process. She clearly made a lot of progress since the previous day and she was in a process of acceptance and understanding. I didn't want her to blame herself. Mistakes happened; you just need to see through it and learn from it. I wished I could have tell her that I didn't hold it against her, that it would she okay and that Lia didn't either. She would be proud of her friend.

"I don't need to befriend a piece of shit like her to know," Ryujin sent me a murderous look that for once I dared to hold and she didn't like that  "What are you looking at?" she spatted.

"You,"  I replied simply. I didn't mean to disrespect her, I was just stating the facts but she took it the wrong way and advanced in my direction, fist up. Irene, thankfully, caught her arm in time and pulled her back. Why did she always wanted to fight? There was probably something behind all this anger but I didn't dare to think about it. It was a problem for another time.

Yet, it didn't seem like she would stop anytime soon.

"You fed her a bunch of bullshit. You probably harassed her until the poor soul was brainwashed enough to think she actually liked you,"

My jaw clenched, her words piercing my heart. Because after Lia started hanging out with me I also thought it was out of compassion, even after she kissed me I thought it was out of guilt. I had laid awake at night in my bed so many times throughout our relationship wondering and questioning if she really liked me, if it was real and every time Lia had showed me it was true.

I started laughing like a maniac, shocking everyone in the room.

"I never brainwashed her or told her what to think,"  I began " You did,"  I pointed at them and around, at the world  "Do you think it was easy on her when she realized her feelings? How she felt something that was supposedly so wrong,"  Chaeryeong lowered her head and I knew I had touched a string. She was their friend, of course they would have strong feelings about it.  "Do you know how many times I had to dry her tears? How many times I had to tell her she was worth it?...Trust me, we tried to stay away from each other...but it was too hard. You may not understand but she's your friend and you should at least respect that."

I took a big breath, surprised by my own monologue.

The four girls kept quiet, staring at me like I was an alien.