"I'm home!" a tall, slim figure sing-songed as he entered the dark apartment. Like always, it was alone. Just how wanted it.
The man sighed. "Need to wash my hands. Moderating fanfiction forums is hard work."
Sighing again, he made his way to the kitchen and turned one of the knobs on the sink. It barely budged. "Oh, come on, damn you, move!" he grunted. The man turned the knob again, harshly.
This time, the knob broke off, and water flooded from the sprayer.
"What?!" he gasped. "No, no! I need to call a plumber, and fast!"
He bolted to one of his kitchen cabinet, pulled out a phone book, and scoured through it. "P...luuuuuuummmmmbbbbbbbeeerrrrrr..." he enunciated as he flipped through the pages frantically. "Ah! Here! Luigi Mario's Plumbing and Ghost Hunting." He paused. "LMP... sounds like SMP. Like Dream..."
Quickly, he picked up his cell phone and dialed the number listed. After a few rings, the line picked up.
"LMP and Ghost Hunting, this is Luigi speaking!" a cheerful voice greeted from the other line. "How may I'a help you today?"
An Italian accent. How lovely. Enough to take the man aback.
"Hello. M-My name is Mattsuke Mercergawa, and I'm undergoing a dire issue with my sink at the moment. If nothing is done, the apartment will be flooded."
"Ah, I see! And what is your address?"
Mattsuke gave it to him.
"You're about a five minute drive from our headquarters! Give me until then, please!"
Again, his cheery and accented voice brought a flutter to his heart. "Of course, Luigi Mario." He hung up.
"He has such a cute voice..." he mused. And for a moment, he forgot that the state of his kitchen sink was anything but.
Soon a gentle knock came at the door. Mattsuke rushed to the entrance and opened it. And this time the love struck nature reached his face.
Luigi was, in simple terms, the most beautiful man he'd ever seen. He always loved a man in uniform, sure, but even in this case, to Mattsuke, the plumber was beautiful.
"You're Mattsuke Mercergawa?" Luigi asked.
"Oh, er, yes. I am him."
The plumber nodded. "I'a see. What's the iss- oh. Oh dear, you weren't exaggerating when you said this was dire," he noted, staring at the flooding sink behind them. "Don't worry! I'a know what to do!"
Mattsuke stood to the side as Luigi rushed to the kitchen. "Uh, is there anything I should do in the meantime?"
"Just wait in the living room. Watch TV or something. It won't take too long, I'a promise! Just don't catch a cold!"
"Oh... alright." Mattsuke settled on his couch and went onto kissanime on his cell phone. As the sound of Luigi's work rustled on in the background, the sweet sound of Boku no Pico flowed through his knockoff Air Pods.
He barely finished the episode when Luigi entered the living room. "Well, I'a fixed your problem, my good sir."
"Really?" Mattsuke asked. "Oh, thank you! A-Are you doing anything after?"
His body froze.
What.
"I'a am, yes. Why? Why do you ask?"
"Oh, I just wanted to know. Maybe so I could thank you properly. You know, make you dinner or something."
Luigi chuckled. "I'm'a humbled you'd want to thank me so generously. Most people just'a push me away after the job is done. I'll'a let you decide what we have, since you offered. Sound fair?"
