In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Author's Note

What a journey it's been. First and foremost, thank you all. I appreciate all the support, reads, votes, comments, and overall love (even the hate) you have shown towards this book and it's characters. I love each and every single one of you. You made this journey so rewarding, and really have made me fall in love with writing again. So I'm grateful you all have taken the time to click on this book and read.

As for the questions (and final thoughts I have) that have surfaced and probably will surface later on, I figured it was best to express this within a longer author's note. It will be lengthy, but I hope it explains some things and answers your questions. If not, I'm more than happy to respond to comments within reason.

Where it all began?

This story was just a few scenes rummaging in my head from early 2015, as I read hundreds of werewolf stories on Wattpad. I'm sure a lot of you have read your share of werewolf books, whether LGBT+ or not, and have found some to be disappointing and lackluster. The main two issues that annoyed me was giving the "bad guy" a redemption in a matter of a chapter or two, as well as stories where they are rejected and find a second chance mate. Don't get me wrong, I still love reading those, but I wanted to see how far the mate bond could take a pairing. Breaking a bond, although sounds ideal, didn't seem as realistic; surely there still had to be some residual pull if they were that strong to begin with. It never seemed realistic enough for my taste, and I simply wondered if I could try and take a stab at it.

And so I did. In a Heartbeat became my first werewolf book, and my first serious book that I worked on. I've written many stories, one-shots, fanfictions, poetries, even a novel for Nanowrimo in 8th grade; but this book had quite literally taken over every passing thought. Even throughout my college career and during work, thoughts of scenes, dialogues, and settings for this book had surfaced (so much that I'd say my character's names out loud during my shifts when I was planning dialogue). It had quickly been my obsession, one I had hid from most people I knew. I took a very long gap from writing this story, as I knew I needed the time and delicacy to precisely write exactly how I wanted to paint Simon and Vince. College had ultimately put this novel on hold, but it had never left my mind and heart.

My passion for writing had diminished with the stresses of college, but it never fully died. When I did have those small pockets of free time, I'd jot notes in my phone, scrap papers, whatever I had laying around. And after graduating college, I quickly fell back into the process of planning this story. It was messy, a disaster; plot points that seemed impossible to connect, and there are moments like every writer has, where you want to trash a certain part. But I can say for certain that I am proud of this book. I'm proud where I took it, and proud that I managed to finish it. I hate boasting about myself, and hate putting the attention on myself by saying that, but I truly am happy with where and how this book came to be.

I know it's not what people expected, not what many people enjoyed, and I know there's some that will hate it, but I truly am proud of it, even with how cringey I may find certain parts when I reread and look back on it.

As for the ending, and why I took this route:

This book was never intended to have a happy ending, as one would have expected. Since the beginning stages of planning and plotting this storyline, the bittersweet ending at the bar was always the endgame. Of course many things had changed throughout the years of developing this story, but I always felt this ending was the most fitting. With the amount of atrocities and hurt Vince has caused, like in the beginning, I emphasized a lot with your comments. Vince doesn't deserve to be forgiven, doesn't deserve to get that happy ending with Simon. But like many of you, I knew that rooting for him and throughout his understanding and growth as a person, I too wanted him to have that happy ending. Realistically, we don't always get what we wanted, and sometimes leaving someone you care about is the better and most logical choice, even if it hurts.