In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 44

A/N: I'm a bit late, but technically it's still Monday in my time zone, so sue me LOL. Anyways I struggled with this chapter again, but it's here, so hope you enjoy! A big shoutout to all the recent reads, votes, comments, and follows. I appreciate them all and thoroughly enjoy reading the comments, even if I can't respond to all of them. I'm stoked for the next chapter so I'm sorry if this one feels a bit wonky. 

Chapter 44

Vince's POV

Sarah hovered near the door as if blocking me from leaving. She nodded her head towards Simon, but I wasn't sure I was ready to face him. After all, Aspen was right. I knew nothing of the mental state he had been in and what he probably felt right now. And more likely than not, I had been the reason he had that panic attack in the first place.

But as Sarah pushed at my arm before closing the door on her way out, and I turned to look at him, maybe I had been wrong. All things considered, he seemed fine.

"Hey," he said breathily. "How're you feeling?"

I blinked, surprised at his words, and that he was seated upright as if nothing had happened. "I should be asking you that."

"You forget that I can feel the bond too." The corners of his lip raised in a light smirk, before motioning to the chair next to him. "Come sit."

"You know?" I looked at him incredulously, before cautiously approaching the seat. He gestured to it but it didn't feel right to sit down, especially after Aspen's tirade.

I slowly took a seat next to him. He looked down for a moment before responding, "I knew the moment I sensed you enter the house. You wouldn't have if you didn't feel something."

"Oh," I said nervously, not even sure what to do with my hands, letting them sit limply on my lap.

"My wolf tried to tell me the night we fought, but I didn't believe him," he added. "But it makes sense given your dosage now."

I hummed, almost laughing at how awkward it felt to be alone with him here. It seemed every moment with him was an incredibly painful and awkward experience, more so now given this morning.

I gulped before asking, "how's your wounds?"

"Mostly healed," he said, placing a hand on his side, the same spot I felt pain this morning. "It wasn't that bad this time. I'm sure Aspen made it seem worse than it was, but it's fine."

"It didn't seem like it was fine."

He pursed his lips before letting the silence grow.

"It honestly would've been worse if you hadn't been there," he finally muttered in the silence, his hands fidgeting in his lap. "Aspen is used to seeing me like this, but I didn't want you to see that. I think that's why I stopped."

I let his words sink in. I was sure I shouldn't have gone there, but his words, in a weird outlandish way made some sense. Similarly to how the bond made me look for him, it probably made Simon want to stop before he took it too far.

"I never felt it that strong before," he continued. "Your emotions. It was always when they were overwhelming, or if you were in pain, but this morning I could feel every ounce of it. You were so scared."

I hummed, rubbing my thumb over the tips of my fingers, distracting myself from the memory of this morning. I wasn't sure what to say to him so we sat in silence.

I didn't want to tell him, to admit that I had been scared, that even now I felt the lingering fear in the back of my mind. With Michael's taunts, the changes he's made to the pack, and the bomb Aspen had dropped earlier. The fear that he might want to die again, or if he realized all the reasons and excuses I had weren't enough for him. That he'd learn Aspen and Michael were right, that I could never undo the damage I've caused. Or that despite trying to make things right, to try and be the person he needed, that it would be meaningless. That he'd easily just give up and walk out without a moment's notice.