In a Heartbeat (MxM)

Chapter 29

A/N: Sorry, it's a little late. And I know Simon's a bit of a dumbass, but what's new? LOL. Anyways, I hope this explains a teensy amount of his logic, even if it's totally irrational. The plot will be picking up a little more soon, so I apologize for the filler-like chapter. Anyways, love hearing your thoughts, don't forget to comment, follow, and vote! :)

Chapter 29

Simon's POV

Aspen had told me years ago that I reminded him of the story of Icarus, a man who flew too close to the sun, knowing that it was too dangerous.

It was a tale that had resonated deeply at the time. Even more so today.

Aspen had been quiet most of the rest of the walk, a slight tense air between us after our fight. I felt bad, but I was tired of having him tell me what to think and feel all the time. I know I had acted childish, that I was naive to think anything of Michael's words, but how could I not?

That feeling of warmth through the bond was the sun, and I so desperately wanted a taste of it. Was it so wrong to want warmth after years of being left in the cold? Even knowing the likelihood of things working out were the same chances as Icarus had. Was it wrong of me to want even just a brief moment with it.? For just that small amount of warmth, I wasn't afraid to fall or drown.

You're going to get burned, Simon, and I can't promise that I'll be there if it happens again, Aspen had warned me. Please think things carefully.

His words had hurt, but I knew that he was probably right.

After our argument, Aspen decided to let me see Cedar. I hadn't seen him in so long, I feared he'd be terribly mad at me. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to talk to me either. I was just glad he was here, and not still roaming the forest. It had been a shock to us all to realize he had ended up being at the pack the whole time. Aspen had told me that he had found his mate, and I couldn't have been more elated. The fear of him going through what I went through, or having to wait years like Aspen and Sarah was daunting. He had been so excited about turning sixteen that the sheer idea of him not getting that happy ending was terrifying.

I could tell Aspen was still mad at me as we walked to the RCPP, but he stayed close, his hand brushing mine occasionally, after all this was all new territory to him. He never had a chance to live in a pack, he was probably just as anxious as I was walking past pack members and their houses. I looked at the newer houses that had been built since I've left, a few young pups playing in front yards, a couple of betas strolling past. It all felt so nostalgic. Despite these new faces, walking past it reminded me of how things used to be. My siblings used to play with our neighbors all the time. The older betas and thetas would play with them in their wolf forms, while the elderly would sit and tell them stories of their youth. There had been one old lady across the street who would garden all the time, often giving out bouquets for special occasions. I remember dragging my younger brothers to help me fix her picket fence, my sisters helping with the painting.

I had missed this, the sense of community. Living in the motel, we hardly saw some of the nameless guests twice, I had only remembered the front desk guy's name, Ray.

But I wondered what these members were thinking. Did they even remember what happened? Were they upset that I was returning? Suddenly, I felt so subconscious. I hardly knew these people, how could they possibly accept me back into the pack, accept me as one of their own? Considering I had spent half my life as a rogue, would they treat me as an outsider?

Inadvertently, I grabbed ahold of Aspen's shirt sleeve, feeling uneasy walking through the area. It didn't help that some had sent a curious glance towards us, a few of the pups tilting their heads, sniffing the air. A few of the older members were full-on staring, sending a shiver down my spine. What were they thinking?