Princess

Chapter 7

"Jesus Christ Beth. That's some story. I never knew what he was capable of." Zoe said. "But I better be on the move."

"Bye Zoe. See you tomorrow." Netty replied. I broke down. This was to much. Did Netty care?

"You can stay with me in the spare bedroom until we feel that it is necessary to inform the police"

It was comforting to know that someone cared, yet still there was a pang of pain. A pang that i was a burden. It'd been there as long as I could remember. Voices telling me I didn't belong, telling me I wasn't good enough. I guess it got worse as time went on. I stopped eating in fear that I was wasting the food, stopped talking because people didn't want to hear me. My results went down, words affected me. That was when I turned to music. Notes whispered in my ear, "You are so brave, and you are going to get through this". Music didn't want to hurt you. It wanted to play with you, take you on adventures. The strum of a guitar was my best friend and the beat of the drum was my protector.

I realise now how I threw music away. When I met Joe, I thought everything would be okay. I felt, I felt like I didn't need music. I didn't need my best friend. 

My nostalgic thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Netty pulling a cigarette box out of her pocket. 

"Wanna ciggie?" She asked, smiling and handing me the box.

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't smoked before.

"It's a bad habit ya'know, but it takes away stress. Like paxil, but for the mind."

It sounded like a good idea. A bit of smoke that can numb the tumbling thoughts. I took one and lit it. A storm of billowing smoke entered my lungs before I blew it out again, coating the kitchen in a layer of grey cloud.

Netty laughed."A natural! Singing must've helped"

After a while of this lung-filling smoke monster, I headed up to bed. Just like Netty had said, my thoughts were numb. My mind was cotton wool. What a fabulous little drug that was.