New Beginnings

Chapter 5

The morning after. 

*Vanessa*

      The next morning when I woke up, my eyes felt dry and swollen from crying. I heard my phone buzz  on my nightstand. I rolled over to see 3 missed texts and 3 calls.  From Houston. Nothing from Peyton. 

     Hey. Are you ok? Peyton looked mad last night. Did he not know? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't my place.

      There was another text.

     Hello? Are you ok? You are making me nervous.

        A final text. 

     Um. This might be drastic, but normally you are good at answering your phone, so I'm going to come over and make sure you are alive :) 

     I sat up. The last text was 10 minutes ago. I ran to the bathroom. I had an angry red mark on my face. I quickly washed my face and put some makeup on to cover it. Hopefully, he wouldn't notice. I was pulling my brush through my sleep-knotted hair when I heard the doorbell ring. 

     I scrambled down the stairs and threw open the door. Houston stood there, his hands in his pockets.

     "Hi." He said, pulling out a hand and running it through his black curls.

     "Hi." I answered,  not knowing what else to say. 

     "Are you ok?" He studied me. "Normally you answer right away. You freaked me out when you didn't answer me. I even called."

     "I'm ok. I just slept through them. I'm sorry."

      "It's ok. I didn't think about that. It's just that Peyton seemed mad and you said that he was angry lately and I got worried." He was stumbling over his words. 

   "You were worried about me?"

      He ran a hair through his hair again "Well yeah. We are friends. I wanted to make sure you were alright." 

     "I'm fine. I promise. We had a little fight. He had a right to be angry though. It was my fault because I forgot to tell him I went."

      Houston looked me over, head to toe. Normally, when boys did that I didn't like it. But when Houston did it, it was like he was making sure I was alright. It was sweet actually. 

     He put his hand to his cheek. "You look a little red. Did he hurt you?" 

     My heart skipped a beat. Houston couldn't know that Peyton had, indeed, hit me. 

     "No! I'm just flushed I guess. It's a little warm. And besides, Peyton would never hurt me!" I lied. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to protect me but I knew I couldn't. I was with Peyton. He was my boyfriend. I couldn't betray Peyton. So I lied. 

     Houston looked unconvinced. "If you say so. I have work, so I have to go. I just wanted to stop by and check on you." He smiled.

     "Thanks. It means a lot that you cared." 

He walked back to his truck and I shut the door. I leaned against the door and gathered my thoughts. I needed to end things with Peyton. I had to do it for myself. I couldn't do it anymore. 

    Three days later, I got a text from Peyton. It was fall break so I hadn't seen him since our fight on Monday. Today was Thursday. 

      You should come over. We need to talk.

     I decided that today was the day I was going to do it. I was going to break up with Peyton. For my safety and for my mental health. He was making me nervous and scared and I didn't like being around him anymore. It was the best for both of us. I texted him and told him I'd meet him at his house.

    I drove the ten minutes to his house. He had texted me on the way on told me to come on in and that he was in the bonus room. I found him there, playing a video game. He motioned for me to wait so I sat next to him. 

      Almost ten minutes later, he was finished with his game. He pulled off his headphones. I stood up.

      "Peyton, I don't think we should be together anymore. I think we should break up. You scare me. I am not comfortable around you anymore. And you hit me. You hit me, Peyton." 

     He grabbed my hands. I tried to pull away but he held them tighter, pulling them to his chest and therefore pulling me closer. 

    "I'm so sorry, Vanessa. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have got angry like that. You have a right to have friends besides me. I was just tired and stressed. I lied about my parents yesterday. They fought almost all day." He stared at the floor.  I felt guilty. I shouldn't have reacted so rashly. We could work through our problems. Couldn't we?

     "I forgive you." I kissed his cheek. "It's just that I don't understand how you are feeling. I don't know how to comfort you without useless platitudes. I can be here for you. I can be your shoulder to cry on. But only if you talk to me. Don't get angry with me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong.

     And please don't hit me. Please."

      "I know, I know. It's just that you were so excited about the movie and pizza that I didn't want to ruin it. But I did anyway, didn't I?" He looked at me with a pathetic look on his face.

     "You kinda did. But it's ok. We're ok."

      "So we aren't breaking up?" He asked.

     I hesitated. I was so sure that we needed to break up when I arrived here.

      "Only if you promise not to get angry with me or hit me. All couples fight. It's not normal for you to hit me though."

    He held up his pinky. "I pinky swear."

    I intertwined my pinky with his and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. It was rough and harsh. He was hurting so bad. I wanted to help him. I didn't want him to hurt anymore. 

     He deepened the kiss, obviously wanting more. I pulled away. He looked upset. 

   "Please. We have been together three years."

    "No." I said. "You know I'm not comfortable with that."

      He let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine. Want to finish the movie?" I nodded and we sat down to finish the movie. He turned it on where we left off Monday.

    Even though he apologized, my rejecting him had hurt him. He was tense and stiff. We didn't talk for the rest of the movie. 

     When it was over, I told him I had promised to meet my mom for lunch. He kissed me goodbye.

     I knew in my heart that I shouldn't be with him. But I didn't want to hurt him even more by breaking it off with him. I had to be there for him. I knew in my heart that I wanted Houston. But that would crush Peyton. I couldn't do that to him.