When I wake I leave my eyes tight shut for a while, I feel the flood of tears on my face. I can't stop the waterfall of tears from my eyes.
I gently sit up and rub my eyes, but I can't stop crying. The loss is unbearable. I wish my memories hadn't returned, but then I feel guilty. If I hadn't got them back then I'd never know about Al, I wouldn't have a reason to like anyone who wasn't a wolf. I want to slip in my misery, I want to let go of my life and fly to the darkness. I want to but I can't, for some reason I think there's a way to save Al, but there can't be. It's my grieving mind wanting him to be back.
I'm struggling to let go of him. I feel like part of me is gone, ripped out. Yet I still feel his faint presence. It makes me angry that I can't let go of it and that my brain won't allow it to fly away.
I'm jolted back to the rest of reality when I feel the mind of Lupa in my conscience. I open my eyes; and still the waterfall won't stop. I can't see Storm or Misty but Lupa is sitting above me. The rest of the pack is the other side of a huge rock that I'm hiding behind. I don't want to talk to Lupa but I just pour all of my emotion into her. Now I have two waterfalls flowing, my emotions are stronger than my tears and I have a feeling that my tears will stop long before my emotions do.
I press my face into Lupa's furry neck and continue to sob. I'm broken and I don't have the strength to piece myself back together. Lupa starts pouring a deep sense of calm into me. Although my emotions are still running, the sense of calm overwhelms me and I fall asleep, still buried in Lupa's fur.
I wake a few minutes later, my tears have run dry and my emotions aren't as uncontrollable. I still feel a deep pit of emptiness inside and I realise that my life is tethered to those whom I love, if I lose them, I'm lost. I just know that Lupa's the one holding me together, she'll wait until I can better cope, but right now I'm not sure I'll ever get over it. I'm not sure I'll ever find someone who can keep me from collapsing, who will love me back or who won't betray me.
YOU ARE READING
Alone in a Busy World
FantasyA young boy with talent is searching for his memories. When he recovers them, he's not sure if he'll be able to keep going. With the help of a kind wolf he finds a loving family and sets out to destroy the group that destroyed his life.
