My emotions aside, I lead them to the forest. We have better cover there and we can intercept any threats better. We get to the base of the building in better time than I thought we would. Thankfully we're on the west side so it's still dark this side of the building.
I take the lead as we fly up the side of the building, being careful to steer clear of lighted rooms. I feel a great pang of nostalgia as I run up. I can almost imagine being back with Al and plummeting to the floor. I wipe tears from my eyes, yes the wind is rushing past my face but the dam holding up my emotions is cracking slightly.
I reach the top before the others. I sit for a moment with my feet dangling off the edge facing the east as I watch the sun finish its climb over the horizon. I sense someone sitting by me and for a moment it feels like Al's death and my lonely life after was just a bad dream, but as I turn to look at Al I notice Spirit sitting by my side. I can tell she senses my sadness; this place brings back to many memories. My face falls and I let out a choked sob.
I struggle to my feet, blinded by tears. I loved Al so much. He was like another me, other than looking like me. He completed me. I've heard people say they are only complete with their true love, I did love Al but it was a different love, it was a love stronger than the love that other people talk about. Other people say about finding their soul mate. My soul mate doesn't exist but Al was closer to me than a soul mate. Al was my life; he was my definition of happiness and joy, my definition of safety in a fallen world. Al was the one who kept me going, stopped me tipping off the edge.
I brush the tears from my eyes. My sadness turns into downright anger but the dam holding up my emotional river has cracked more. It's letting through a red torrent, the red torrent of my anger. Beyond the dam, although there are multiple colours, I mostly see blue and black. My sadness, loneliness and depression outweigh everything else. It's built up over time, and I know when the dam finally breaks I'll be 'past the gone' I'll be like a non-violent crank. I'll be far beyond repair to the point that even my books won't bring me any comfort. There won't be anything that Lupa or the others could do; I'll be as good as dead.
YOU ARE READING
Alone in a Busy World
FantasyA young boy with talent is searching for his memories. When he recovers them, he's not sure if he'll be able to keep going. With the help of a kind wolf he finds a loving family and sets out to destroy the group that destroyed his life.
