the discover

the library of untold story

The lesson ended before I knew it, much to my chagrin I would add.
I couldn't help but sit and watch Abby wait for everyone to come out to gather her things and get out of the room.
'Do you need help?' I said, tilting my head slightly to the side as I saw her vain attempts to get all the books back into her purse.
I laughed lightly at the sight.
'Please ..' She said blushing visibly under my amused gaze.
'Don't worry' I said approaching her and touching her hand that was lying on the desk to reassure her 'if you like books so much you could borrow some from the school library' I said putting some of her books inside the bag .
'what? is there a library? ' she said surprised, it seemed that I had improved her day with that information and the happiness that grew in her eyes warmed my heart terribly.
'of course, I can accompany you if you want' I said, closing her bag at the end of the work 'here you are'
'oh, I'm very grateful for this,' she said as a lock of hair slipped in front of her face;
I wanted to reach out and move that lock of hair behind her ear so much, but I had to try terribly not to move, I didn't want to missteps and scare her but I was so tempted to make such a sweet and reassuring gesture.
I shook my head slightly as if to erase the thoughts that ran through my mind, almost scared that she could see them or hear them.
'let's go' I said, looking away to walk towards the door.
'fuck' I whispered to myself;
This girl was already working on me and my emotions, in ways that no one had done before but making me confused and blocked, her sweetness and her innocence would be my death.
We arrived in front of a large wooden door which was the entrance to the school library;
in all these years that I have been working in that academy no one had ever taken care of the library like I had, it seemed almost as if no one cared more about the books and this hurt me knowing that it was the only weapon to defeat ignorance and it had been the only place I had taken refuge when no one understood what I was but my books seemed to be able to.
I have always taken great care of books, I almost thought they had more emotions than people and so I decided to take care of that big and ancient bookstore, but when I discovered that even that so mysterious and silent girl found comfort in books, I understood that I had done the right thing.
'Oh my God' she said in a whisper making me giggle in amusement.
'I hope you like it, I tried to make it as comfortable as possible' I said leaning my back on the back of a sofa.
'you did a perfect job, I almost feel at home' she said and her happy expression slowly disappeared making space for a frown and almost anguished expression.
Suddenly I felt a thud in my chest, almost as if my heart had seen her expressions and had felt on itself the pain that was visible in her eyes, I could not have allowed such a sweet creature to feel such pain and show such discomfort in her eyes.
'I have some books that I'm sure you will love,' I said as I walked over to the shelf, hoping that the change of subject would distract her from those sad thoughts that were running through her mind.
'oh here it's, "a wrinkle in time" by Madeleine L'Engle. At least twenty-six publishers rejected the publication of this book, 'I said
'Oh? Why?' she asked, it seemed it had caught her attention and in that moment I thought that her frowning look on her was one of the cutest things I had seen her do.
'because they thought it was different but when they released it she won so many awards and got the credit she deserved' I said smiling warmly and handing the book to Abby.
'thank you' she said shyly and at that moment she looked into my eyes but differently from the other times, this time she didn't take her gaze away from mine but we stayed for what seemed like hours looking into each other's gaze.
Her gaze seemed to have something that I had never seen in anyone, she seemed to say so many things even though she was not talking, it almost seemed as if she was reading who I was and what I wanted inside my soul and this terrified me but at the same time I felt so comforted.
I let go of the book and this time it was me who shifted my gaze, feeling the heaviness of her look full of questions that I would not find an answer to, so I simply decided to pretend for now and act as if she really wasn't too close to the truth.
'why isn't anyone here?' she asked, unaware of the confusion she had caused within me.
'hm? oh well, when I saw this library for the first time was abandoned and in a decadent state, I guess I am the only teacher to keep my students interested in the ancient and powerful value of books 'I said looking at the full shelves satisfied' and I guess the teachers here do not have ever had the need to hide in a parallel reality that only a book could have created '
I heard her laugh once more and my heart melted instantly this time.
'Well not everyone has been lucky enough to know you maybe' she said in a fit of courage making me skip a beat.
I turned to her smiling slightly.
'this is the best compliment someone ever given me'
Abby blushed instantly as her shyness returned to take hold of her.
'oh no, I made you blush' I said laughing slightly and this time Abby looked in my direction giggling along with me, making me feel like all of this was familiar and I was home.
'thank you miss aird' abby said moving a strand of unruly hair behind her ear.
I just smiled, watching the girl walk out of her room, holding the book I had given her in her arms.
It almost seemed like a fairy tale, those classic fairy tales where the idiot falls madly in love with someone that it will never really have and this made my heart tighten in a willful grip, while it burned in my chest with the knowledge that it was a forbidden love.