the discover

ain't she sweet?

Every day from that moment I couldn't stop thinking about that smile that had captured my attention and all my strength, every day from that moment I knew that I couldn't hide for a second longer that there was something different about me compared to other people of the time, something that I should have started to love and embrance about myself.
Every time I came back home and I thought about how convinced I was that my life was perfect, I felt the stupidest person in the world for having been able to think even for a second of hiding what my heart really felt and what that I knew was more right for me, even though she seemed like such an innocent and sweet girl and I didn't know how she could react to discovering that such an ordinary and simple person could change my life into something special.
I used to walk through the corridors of the school and turn around to look for her, almost as if I knew that among seven billion people in the world and even in a crowded room I could recognize her anywhere.
I preferred to remain hidden so as not to scare her but I would have watched over her in silence and careful, I would have been the shadow of her, I would have to do anything to make her happy and to make her feel safe.
This desperate attempt of mine to make her feel good led me to think as if for once, for someone who really needed it I could have been there as I should have done for myself long ago, when they convinced me that mine was a disease.
I always waited for her to come into the library to put there or take a new book to take advantage of it to exchange a word with her;
I've never felt so at home with anyone.
One ordinary and simple day I went to school but I was very thoughtful from the moment my husband Harge and I had signed the divorce papers that day and I was very worried about the future, I will not hide it.
'Miss Aird' I Heard Abby's soothing, sweet voice saying my name like it was the best thing I've ever heard.
'Hm?' I said absently turning in her direction.
'Oh, are you okay?' she asked me and in that tone of her I could see fragments of concern that stuck directly into my heart.
'yes, yes I'm fine, I'm just very tired' I lied with a small and reassuring smile, hoping it was enough to distract her.
She frowned but she didn't insist, she just didn't say anything all the way to the library door which seemed endless but terribly pleasant.
She was like me, she understood that in silence, many more words and thoughts would be expressed and I instead understood that I did not need anything else except her presence by my side.
I opened the door for her as took a quick deep breath feeling the intoxicating and pleasant smell of books pervading my nostrils;
I felt safe.
'So which book are you going to get this time?' I said turning away from her, arranging the new collection of books on shelves.
'I actually did something for you,' she said in a very small voice almost worried by my reaction.
'Oh? for me?' I said turning to her, completely forgetting about the books in the cart.
'for you ..' she whispered and took my hand lightly, unsure.
the sparks traveled across my skin in the instant that our hands touched, almost burning instantly.
'you told me you were looking for a way to make this place more pleasant' she said guiding me to the window of the room from which penetrated strong sunlight that illuminated the whole room and her sweet features making her look like an angel.
'well I think I've found a way' she said and stopped in front of the window adorned with colorful pillows and a small sofa.
'its just a beginnig but I hope you like it ..' she said almost as she was scared from the moment that no word left my lips for probably too long time.
'I..wow I love it' I said lacing our fingers lightly together making it seem like a rash gesture.
'really?' she said surprisedly.
'you can't imagine how much' I whispered as I turned in her direction.
'I was sure you would but I was afraid you might be disappointed' she said with a shy smile.
'disappointed? about you? never 'I said surely as I took a step closer to her but she looked away from me blushing furiously.
She was the sweetest creature I had ever seen.
'come on try it' she said and pulled me lightly towards the sofas making me fall on it, laughing with amusement.
'miss gerhard !!' I laughed aloud pulling her towards me.
'no!' she laughed at me wrapping her arms around me to keep herself from falling as I held her tight already where I needed her most, close to myself;
my arms were wrapped around her figure and our gazes connected once more.
'thank you' I whispered smiling.
That had been the first real smile of the day.