My Canadian Lover Shrek x Justin Trudeau

Shrek

It was a cold winter day here in Canada. I laid in my bed scrolling through TikTok, since there wasn't much else to do.

"Shrek your such a boring ho. I'm going to buy new Channel and Louis Vuitton," yelled Trisha from the kitchen. She probably just stopped crying.

Trisha Paytas is my roommate, and also my bestie. She was just recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Trish is so fun and iconic.

Incoming call: Dougie ❤🍆

"Hey, baby. Wanna meet up? Just thinking of another way to be a retard and ruin Ontario. Tim's?" asked Doug.

"Shore bae. See you there." I really didn't want to go. Doug was a lot older than me, but he paid good money. He also smelt like stupidity and beef (I'm a vegan ofc). I grabbed my mask and my tote bag. I took a few seconds to twerk in the mirror and then I was off.