I Don't Like This World, I Only Like You

18

Chapter 18 : In a world, where everybody is prone to change, I want to have a glimpse of eternity 

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We broke up once when we were still dating each other. As Jungkook was often required to go on business trips which lasted for months, he had extremely little time to accompany me. As such, I was frequently left alone.

Once, I fell extremely ill, and was suffering from a fever that rose to 42 degrees Celsius. As I was terribly worried that I would pass away from the fever, I forced myself to take a cab alone to the hospital.

There was another incident when I returned home after work, only to find that the water pipe in the kitchen had exploded, causing the entire house to be flooded in water, and half of the suspended ceiling to collapse. As such, I had no choice but to make a trip to the repair company by myself in order to employ repairmen to fix the house.

One night, I was forced to work overtime till the wee hours of the morning. As I was feeling extremely fatigued, I fell asleep on the bus, only waking up when the bus arrived at the bus depot. I was thus forced to walk along the road at 1AM in the morning, and only managed to grab a taxi after an hour. When I reached home, I opened the door, only to be greeted by a sea of darkness. When I put down my keys, it was as though I could hear the echo reverberate throughout the entire house.

My heart felt extremely empty – whenever I was happy, I had no one to share my happiness with, and whenever I was sad, I had no one to confide in. It was during these times when I would occasionally think that despite having a boyfriend, it was as though I had none. Even though I had come all the way to Seoul in order to accompany him, he’s never by my side in my times of need.

There was once I experienced a mental breakdown. If I recall correctly, it was our anniversary that day, and we had originally intended to spend the entire day together. However, Jungkook received a last minute notice from his company, instructing him to go on an urgent business trip. As he was packing his luggage, I suddenly burst into tears. I knew that he was very ambitious, and I knew that he wasn’t in the position to reject the instructions give to him – I understood all these principles, but I simply felt wronged, and I desperately needed an outlet to vent.

Jungkook hugged me whilst allowing me to cry freely. When I finally stopped crying, he suddenly told me that if I truly experienced so much pain and disappointment when I was together with him, then we ought to go our separate ways. He was extremely calm and composed when he said this. Strangely, I was extremely collected at that precise moment, and simply dried my tears before agreeing to his suggestion. Jungkook then speedily helped me handover another year’s rent before removing his items.