𝙷𝙱𝙾 𝚆𝚊𝚛 𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜

Forever, If You Wanted | Lew Juergens

had these sitting in my google drafts and couldn't understand why i hadn't published it yet despite writing it in december of 2020. so, with some revisions, i present to you another lew piece.

speirs request on the way, stay tuned.

~~~

"(Y/N)?" Lew's voice sounded small through the phone. He sounded as if he had been crying, his voice shaky as he sniffled. You were immediately awake, all thoughts of returning to sleep gone out the window.

"Lewis? You okay? Are you hurt?"

Lew let out a shaky laugh. "No, no, I'm not hurt. Not...physically..." he trailed, then started up again like nothing happened. "Anyway, just wanted to check in on you, hope you're doing great?"

Your heart broke.

"Hey, Lew?" you asked quietly. "You want me to come over?"

A long pause. Then:

"Yes. Please."

The urgency in his "please" made your stomach turn. He never sounded so sad, so shaky. He was always smiling and laughing in the Pacific, always a welcome ray of sunshine. It hurt to see him so broken.

"Alright. I'll be over in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay."

When you knocked on Lew's door, you were greeted with the tired face of your best friend. You took one look at him before pushing him backwards, closing the door behind you, and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. He immediately responded, arms cocooning around you in a warm hug. You missed giving him hugs every other day in the Pacific.

His heart was beating a mile a minute when you first hugged him, but the longer you stood there, wrapped in his hug, you heard his heart begin to slow down bit by bit.

"I'm sorry." he finally whispered. "I didn't mean--"

You frowned and looked up at him. "No, Lewis, you have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong."

"But you were sleeping, probably, and I bothered you?"

You let out a little laugh. "You could never bother me."

He still looked unsure, though. You sighed, cradling his face. He leaned into your hand, one of his hands moving from your back to hold your hand against his face.

"Lewis, remember back when we were in the Pacific?"

He nodded.

"Remember how you'd always let me sleep with you when I had trouble sleeping?"

Another nod.

"You've done so much, gone through so much; you need to let someone else take care of you for a change. Let someone else help you chase away your demons."

A smile began to appear on his face, the trademark grin that you'd missed seeing.

"There he is." you beamed in return, wiping away his tears. "Come on, you're tired, let's get you some sleep, okay?"

You held his hand as he led the way to his room. He crawled under the covers and you pressed a kiss to his forehead before moving to leave.

Lew's hand shot out and grabbed your sleeve, tugging gently. "Will you stay?"

When you hesitated, he tugged again. "Please? Stay?"

You looked down at his hand, then clasped it with your free hand. "Of course."

You never let go of his hand as you crawled into the bed and pulled him close. He curled into your side and rested his head on your stomach. You sighed into the darkness. It was nice. Quiet.

"(Y/N)?" Lew's voice broke the silence. "The nightmares were really bad tonight."

"I know, Lew," you whispered back, running your fingers through his hair. "They always come, don't they?" Sighing, you closed your eyes and leaned your head back. "They always come, but you won't be alone. Not ever. I'll be right here by your side and I won't leave unless you want me to."

"I'd like that. For you to stay here."

"Tonight, or for as long as you want me to?"

It was a while before he answered.

"Well-" He tilted his head up, looking at you with a childish grin. "-I was hoping forever...if you wanted..."

Your eyes flashed open and you stared at the ceiling for a moment before you met his gaze. "Forever, huh?"

He nodded. "Mhm."

"I'd like that. To stay with you here."

"Tonight, or for as long as you want to?"

You grinned at him, bringing one of his hands to your lips to kiss.

"Well, I was hoping forever..."