Circle the Drain | R. LUPIN

6 | conversations and confusion

R E M U S L U P I N

Remus had been a wreck that whole week. He had no idea what to do with himself. Grieving was an odd feeling. Suffocating and all consuming. Like something was crawling its way up his throat, begging to be released but that wasn't an option. He felt irrevocably guilty. He hadn't known Reggie that long and to claim that grief felt wrong and selfish. And yet, when he snuck into the Ravenclaw common room and slept in Reggie's old bed, the others had let him

He spent his free time out in the woods, in the spot Reggie had shown him their first night together. It still hurts to think about. The 'what-if's' and what could have been. He stared up at the sky, the almost full moon peeking through. Tomorrow, he won't be able to come out here. He would be locked up in the Shrieking Shack, miserable and in pain. And so would Ophelia.

He had yet to tell her about his friends joining him. He had also not had a full moon since the breakup. Maybe they wouldn't come and it wouldn't be an issue. Deep down, he knew they would never do that to him.

"Ophelia," Remus spoke up from behind her and she turned to face him in confusion. He walked over to her and he couldn't help but feel a little guilty as he stopped in front of her. "There may be one small thing I left out."

"How small is small?" she inquired warily.

"When I turn..." he trailed off. "I don't do it alone."

She grew confused at this, her eyebrows pinching together. "Okay..." she relied. "I'm not sure I follow."

"James, Peter and Sirius come with me," Remus explained.

Ophelia shook her head, "How is that possible? Wouldn't you kill them?"

"No," he answered, "Because they aren't human."

This only confused her further, "They aren't?"

"Well, they are," he countered. "Just not when I turn."

"Fine, I'll bite," she huffed and he raised an eyebrow. She shook her head, brushing it off, "What are they when you turn?"

"Animagus."

Ophelia's eyes widened, "They're animagus?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I just figured I should tell you before you show up and there's a stag, a rat and a dog there."

"Did you tell them I'm a werewolf?" she asked quickly.

"No, no I wouldn't do that," he replied. He would never tell anyone. But he did think they would be helpful. "But they wouldn't care. And having them there makes it easier. Trust me."

"I don't want them to know," she shook her head.

"They won't," he explained. "We can stay on opposite sides of the shack and they'll never know you were there."

"How do you not hurt them?"

"I can't do any damage to them when they're in animagus form," he answered. "It took a few turns but now my werewolf is...well it's sort of friends with their counterparts. If that's what one could call it."

"Friends?"

"It's odd, I know," he huffed. "But with them there, I didn't try and hurt myself as much as I used to. It made it slightly more bearable." He frowned slightly as he looked behind her for a moment, "I know you don't want him to know but I promise, it won't change anything."

"It's not just about that," she pointed out. "I don't want anyone to know. Coralena can barely look me in the eye anymore and we had just made up. My parents basically disowned me and while Xeno doesn't seem to care, my parents are making him go home and leaving me here. And Reggie-" her voice cracked as she said his name. Remus frowned as she looked down at her hands, "I don't want to lose anyone else."