breathless heart - nct, norenmin

💔 11 💔

later that night, jaemin found himself standing in front of jeno's bedroom door, hesitating to knock and enter.

after waking up in the arms of a crying jeno and renjun, the three boys had lived their lives peacefully, preparing dinner and enjoying their time together with the rest of the dreamies.

then, everybody had showered and gotten ready to bed.

unfortunately, jaemin didn't want to go to sleep right now.

was it because he had spent half his afternoon sleeping on jeno's lap?

surely.

but that was also because he needed to talk to jeno and renjun.

so, here he was, standing in front of jeno's closed bedroom door, in his pyjamas.

he could hear renjun's voice inside, meaning that once again, jeno and the chinese boy were together and talking about something that excluded jaemin.

his heart was breaking more and more every day at the thought of jeno and renjun getting together, but some part of his head couldn't help but think about what donghyuck had told him...

did he like renjun?

did renjun hold the same place as jeno in his heart?

even if the question seemed easy to answer at first, there had to be a whole reflexion behind it.

a few hours ago, when he had woken up, renjun seemed so worried about it. as worried as jeno. and let's be honest, this had made jaemin's heart break.

renjun had held him so tight. he had whispered soothing words in his ears. he had cried so much at the idea of losing jaemin.

this couldn't mean that renjun didn't care about him. or at least that he cared about jaemin less than jeno cared about him.

so, yeah.

there was a little part of jaemin's head that screamed to him that renjun cared about him too.

and this same little part kept telling him that renjun was a likable person, and that he could fit well with jaemin. and even better with jaemin and jeno.

jaemin broke out of his thoughts when he heard a yell inside the room.

he gulped before finding the courage to raise his hand and knock on the door.

before he could place his hand on the handle to open it, the door was opened from the inside.

"oh, jaemin." renjun smiled. "come in."

jaemin did as he was told, entering jeno and donghyuck's room and allowing renjun to close the door behind his back.

jaemin looked at jeno who wasn't really paying attention to him. he kept glaring at renjun.

"am i... disturbing something?"

"oh, no!" renjun exclaimed. "not at all. you wanted to ask us something?"

jeno rolled his eyes at renjun's words, obviously pissed.

jaemin noticed it.

"huh... i'm not sure it's the best moment to ask... i'll... huh... leave?" jaemin declared, already taking steps back towards the door.

"oh, no. you're not going to leave." renjun replied, taking the boy by his shoulders and directing him towards jeno's bed where he made him sit down, still under jeno's hard glare.

"but jeno..."

"he's moody. don't worry about him." renjun said, bopping jaemin's nose, and making the younger blush at the cute gesture.

jaemin coughed, catching the attention of the two boys.

"so... huh..." he spoke, not really knowing how to phrase his thoughts. "about a while ago..."

"a while ago?" renjun furrowed his brows.

"the... the sleep apnea thing..." jaemin clarified.

"oh. yeah."

"could you... huh..." jaemin thought for a second. "i know this may sound completely foolish but... huh... yeah... can you keep it to yourselves?"

jeno and rejun shared a glance.

"keep it to ourselves?" jeno asked in a low voice.

"yeah... i don't want taeyong hyung and the managers to know about it..." jaemin clarified.

"why?"

jaemin bit his bottom lip.

"i... huh... i don't want to be a burden... and not this close to our comeback..." jaemin replied. "i've already messed things up with my hiatus a few years ago. i can't mess everything up again. not when we're having a comeback in a few days."

"jaemin. what the hell are you saying?" jeno asked.

"you have never been a burden to us, and you will never be." renjun added.

"everything always gets messed up because of my problems..." jaemin explained. "the managers and even taeyong are always stressed about me. i always have an issue. i can't bear it anymore. i want to be the one to solve my own problems. without their help."

jeno and renjun sighed, exchanging another look.

"jaemin, this is not how it works..." jeno spoke.

"you can't solve everything on your own..." renjun added.

"of course, i can. i am fully capable of dealing with my problems."

"is this why you didn't tell them about your coronary heart disease?" renjun asked.

jaemin's eyes widened as he looked at jeno and renjun who had looks of seriousness on their faces.

"h-how... h-how do you know?"

"the smallest noises wake me up at night. and you happen to wake up awfully frequently at 3a.m.." renjun said.

jaemin didn't answer.

"this is something severe, jaemin." jeno spoke. "we knew you didn't want the others to hear about it, so we kept it for us, but you need help."

renjun nodded in approval. "and we are willing to help."