SOLE | ChanLix AU

CHAPTER 4 | Delusional

Both of us just stood there as I poured all my emotions out. This was something new. Typically I wasn't really open about what I felt. Even Lee Know knew the bare minimum. I never went to him crying and all, even after losing Felix. 

"Maybe you wanna see the stuff he gave me?" Hyunjin asks slightly pull away from the hug, I nodded as I wipe my tears with my shirt. 

"Go sit on the bed." I do as he says, he then proceeds to unpack his stuff onto the sofa and to my amazement, he had more than I expected. He had a ton of Felix's clothes, some of his jewellery, his hats and bennies, a few of his small plushies and what probably shocked me the most is that he had the photo album Felix would always bring every time we would travel. He brings the album to me along with a clear box where his jewellery was placed.

"The night we left you guys in Adelaide, was the night he also told me his request. I knew about what would happen that night," he said not making any eye contact.  

"Why does all of this need to happen? he could have just stayed." I reasoned out. I can't accept the fact that he just left me for no reason. Hyunjin holds my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. 

"There are some things I can't disclose with you because I promised him I wouldn't. And I want to live up to that promise. All I can do for you is try to relive his memories with you. Become him even though it may just be through his belongings. I know it sounds so stupid but this was part of his request." I was baffled by what he said. My friendship with Hyunjin is more formal than of the others. I don't particularly know why we started off like that, but because everything seemed to work out I never questioned it. 

"Thank you for trying to accomplish your friend's request but I'm not so sure about having someone trying to embody him." He loosens his grip from my hand and proceeds to take the jacket off. 

"I knew this was stupid from the start," he says while fixing his shirt. He then lay the jacket on the bed.

"Go through the stuff but don't take anything. I'll be here if you have any questions." He states walking across the room near the desk area and sits there, he then turns the chair so that he wouldn't be facing me. I felt bad for him, all he was trying to do was fulfil Felix's request to the best of his abilities. I looked through the album and stumbled upon a photo taken on May 3rd of 2019. I take it out of the album then walk towards him also carrying the jacket. I turn the chair around only to see him all focused on his phone.

"Do you remember this?" I ask while showing him the photo, he takes a quick glance then brings his attention back to his phone.

"You took this right?" I add but he only nodded in response. 

"I appreciate everything you have done and everything you are willing to do for me and for Felix. And if you think being his proxy makes him happy. Then by all means do so, I honestly had the sense of comfront while I was hugging you in his jacket." I don't know if I'm too touch-deprived, miss Felix too much or just downright crazy in the head. But I liked what happened a while ago. He smiles and takes the jacket from my head and immediately wears it.  

"You can stay in my room for tonight," I said which makes him giggle in excitement. Though this may be a weird feeling, I would do anything just to relive my memories with Felix. Even if that would entail pretending that someone else is him. I helped him out at putting all the stuff away. Felix left nothing for me, the least that I have our photos and videos of us on my phone and that was about it.  So Hyunjin having this much of his stuff shocked me. Afterwards, we both headed to my room, I took a shower while Hyunjin waited in the bedroom. As I went out I saw him standing near the window look up at the stars. I come up beside him.