{Attempt} a muke story.

19 // i'm awake

lukes pov

i wake up after a long night, i remember everything i did until i passed out. i look around and my family, michael and ..ash? are walking through the hospital ward door.

''luke! oh my god you're awake! we was so worried!'' my mum practically screams in between sobs.

''mum, calm down please, i'm fine'' i say with a sore throat.

i look at michael who's looking at me with tear filled eyes, he looks awful, but he still looks beautiful. i don't know why i did this, my whole family look broken. michael sits there in my black oversized hoody looking as cute as ever.

''now then big fella, you gave me a fucking fright, as soon as michael called me in tears i knew something wasn't right, he told me what happened and jesus christ luke, i nearly got pulled over twice!'' ashton said as he sat down next to me in the red puffy chair.

''i'm sorry guys, i just, i don't know what happened''

i feel so weak, i'm attatched to so many things and i'm scared that if i move they'll all fall out. after an hour of my parents, jack, ben and ashton moaning to me about how i'm so stupid, they decide to go home.

''michael, are you coming home with us or are you staying with luke? we'll be coming back around 10ish to see him and bring him some stuff, we'll pick you up then yeah?'' my mum said. 

michael glanced at the clock on the wall and realized it was 8am.

''if it's okay, i'd like to stay with luke'' he said, his eyes reverting back to the floor.

''that's fine honey, we'll see you soon'' and then they all left after ashton hugged me. ''see you later luke'', ''bye ash''.

i watched them all file one by one out the door to go back home. i looked over to my left at michael who was still intently looking at the floor. i didn't know what to say to him. he looked exhausted, his eyes were red, he had dark circles around his eyes, he was even paler than usual, his hair was poking out under the hood of my hoody. i stared at him for a while until he finally spoke up.

''i love you''

i let my eyes meet his after he said that, as soon as he said those three words he started to cry, this is the first time i've ever seen him cry.

''i love you, please don't cry, i'm sorry'' i held my hand out for him, which he took and laced our fingers together.

''i understand you felt like that was the only way out but what about me luke? we were nearly over. i nearly lost the boy i love. if i lost you, i'd lose myself'' he said finally opening up to me.

''i love you michael and this wont happen again''

''i'm sure you said that about the time before'' he said looking back down to the floor but still running his thumb over my knuckles.

''..i did. but this time will be different i swear. i'll get help, i'll see someone, i'll take every medicine imaginable. i don't wanna leave you''

he looks up at me and leans forward to press his lips against mine, after he pulls away he rests his forehead against my own. 

''okay and i'm gonna be there with you all the way''

usually after things like this are said, we usually go upstairs and fuck. it's hard not being able to do that.

''have you told calum?'' i question.

''no and i don't think i'm gonna, it will hurt him and i don't want that, if he finds out by ash then he finds out. but if he doesn't then we don't need to say anything to him, what he doesn't know wont hurt him''