I'll Take Care of You

4.0 High School Emotions

Buck
I jumped on him and kiss him, maybe it was the beers that I had or maybe it was just cause I really wanted to do it. His lips were soft, sweet I could taste  the pizza and beer from earlier. I pulled back and see his eyes are wide. Omg what did I just do? I just got up and ran away I couldn't look at him. "Buck wait." Eddie called out but I didn't listen I just kept running. What the hell did I just do? How could I be so stupid? I just ruined everything in my life the best thing I had going for me. Eddie's calling me but I couldn't answer. I knew once we talked about this it would be done our friendship. I didn't realize how long I walked for but I finally had gotten to my house. I close the door and go straight to the bathroom hop in the shower the water burning hot steaming before I even got in the shower. Once I hopped in I just let the water hit my body. 'Your so stupid. Your ruined everything. You will never see Chris again. Eddie is gonna hate you.' The voices in my head that I hadn't heard in so long. The voices that I only heard years ago. I would only hear them if I felt completely alone it's been so long. Why now? I needed to talk to someone my first instinct was to call Eddie but I couldn't do that cause I just couldn't face him right now. I got out the shower and faced the mirror. The voices were back and I heard them loud and clear. I left the bathroom I calling Maddie but I doubt she will answer it's 3 am right about now. I guessed right she didn't. 'Not even your sister cares' the voices said. I walked over to my room and open a drawer and a small blade. I thought about it I hadn't done this in a long time. Sophomore year of high school that was the last time it's been years. I grabbed the blade and brought it up to my wrist. "Do it"the voices in my head said. "BUCK NO!" I heard looked up and I couldn't believe it. "Eddie?"
Eddie
I felt him jump me and his lips attacked mine. His lips tasted like beer and some pizza it's remind me of earlier tonight. Damn his lips were perfect but I was shocked I didn't expect him to kiss me. He pulls back and doesn't say anything just starts to run away "buck wait" I told him but he didn't stop moving. I'm so stupid I should've held him there and kissed him back I wanted to run after him but I had Christopher so I did the best thing I could I called Carla. She quickly answered and I ask her to come and take care of Christopher cause I had an emergency. She quickly got over here I thanked her. I got out and hopped in my car. While driving looking around for buck hopefully I can find him. I was thinking about everything about how I met buck at first he didn't really like me but eventually we became the closest in 118. The moment I saw him with Christopher I knew I had a small crush on him. I've never felt this way about a guy before and it was new to me so I didn't know how grasp anything. Eventually my feeling kept growing for this man every time he would be a hero. Every time he spent with my son and looked at him like the most beautiful thing in the world. I fell in love with him. I love Evan Buckley. It's now 3 am so I decided I should try bucks house. I pulled up and got out of my car and stepped up to his door. I walked up to the door and saw it a creek open so I pushed the door open "Buck?" I called out but I didn't here a response I heard something in his room so I made my way to it.
As I turned a corner to Buck's room I see him standing there with a blade to his wrist. "BUCK NO!" I yelled out ran over to him slapping the blade out his hand. I quickly grabbed his arm saw some very old looking scars and thankfully no new ones. I hugged buck and he cried into me. "I'm so sorry. Please let me keep seeing Christopher. Let me be your friend." He cried out into my just did he really think I would stop him from seeing Christopher! "I would never buck. I love you DONT ever think you have to do this." Buck looks at me with his eyes watered from crying. "You don't love me the way I love you." Buck said with pain and honesty in his eyes. "No buck I love you far more. With more intensity, more passion. I've never felt what I feel for no one and you make my son smile and your look at him like he's the most special thing in the world. I love you so much for that. I love your ocean blue eyes that I just wanna drown into every time I look at you. Evan Buckley I am so in love with you it hurts." I told him I looked at him directly into his eyes so he knew I meant every word. I leaned in and connected our lips. This kiss was different it had passion, love, and un said emotions. My heart is pounding out of my chest. I feel like I'm in school again this man makes my stomach feel butterflies and makes my heart start pounding with just one look. Damn I feel like a love sick teenager.