Words

Chapter 5

After another exhausting day at school my mom dropped me off and then went to work.

I sat in my studio and stared at my paintings.

Each one of them had something to say about me.

When I felt happy, sad or exited.

I grabbed a paint brush, some paint, ink an oil pastel and a bunch of other stuff and began to work.

I first drew the outline of his face. Then his hair.... and his eyes.
The color made him look more alive. Like his brown eyes were really starting back at me. I added some more texture. Making each feature stand out as much as I can remember. His ears barely hidden behind his hair. His eyes. His nose. His lips....

*knock, knock* "honey you've been in there for a wile now, I know it's a little late but would you like to come down and have some dinner?"my mom called through the door.

I looked out the single window. She was right it was really late. My stomach growled. I had forgotten to eat....that was rare.

"Is everything okay in there? Should I come in?"my mom said
HO no, I though. She can't see the painting!. I grabbed the painting and he it be hing a bookshelf just as my mom came in.

I smiled a I-am-not-hiding-anything-so-don't-get-suspicious smile.
"There's something suspicious going on around here, is everything okay?"
I nodded.

"Um okay, could you come downstairs to the kitchen there's something I need to talk to you about".she said
I nodded.

After she left i stopped holding my breath and started my way downstairs.

We sat in silence and ate what I guess was supposed to be dinner for a wile.
"Um....Lina there something I want to show you". She said.
I nodded for her to continue.
"Um hand me your phone"
I reached into my pocket and handed it to her.
"There's this app that I think you might like"
I gave her a questioning look. After a wile she handed the phone back to me.
I looked through the app called "speak".it was meant to help people like me. People like me.

"I thought you might need it since you're going to school now and you're going to be around a lot of people."
It had a lot of words and phrases and I trapped in the word hi and "hi"
It said it out loud. But it was in this male robotic tone. I looked through it some more and saw that you could add more words or sentences and save them. In the settings I changed the voice to a more human girl sounding tone.

"Do you like it" my moms voice interrupted me.
I looked up at her and nodded. Worry seemed to cross her features.
I typed up the words I love you and and saved it. Then tapped on it.

"I love you" my phone said

I had never said those words to her. Sure I wrote it down or texted her but I never really said them. I couldn't.

My mom looked up at me with tears in he eyes.i hugged her.
"Oh honey"* sniffle *"I love you too" she cried on my shoulder and tears started falling down my face too.

* * * * *

*buzz* buzz* *buzz*

I got up and threw the alarm clock across the room.

I hope it's dead.

I used the app to talk to my mom like it was completely normal this morning she seemed a lot happier than usual.

After she'd dropped me off at school I made my way to first period.

I was a little early to class so I took a another seat away from where Able sat the last time I was in this classroom. Looking through my new app I wondered why I didn't think of this in the first place.

Words. Like a gift put in front of me just a little far out of my reach. It surrounded me everywhere. In the stores, at the park, and worst of all in my head. They haunt me everyday reminding me of what I couldn't do, what I would never have. I would never say the words I love you or laugh and scream at the top of my lungs. I would always be-
"Hey" a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts.

August took a seat next to me smiling.

I forgot how to breath.

I gave a quick nod and looked down at my hands. Why was he talking to me?
I looked up to met his eyes staring at me. My heart leaped.
He didn't look like he was just looking at me. He looked like he could read me through my eyes. Like he could see every secret, every fault....

His eyes were only brown but when I looked at them I saw colors I didn't know existed.

"August!"yelled someone with an overly chirpy voice.
He suddenly looked away at some girl who was violently pulling on his arm breaking his gaze. The same girl who was with him yesterday.

I wanted to "RIP" her head off!.
Was I always this violent minded?.

"Would you like introducing me to the new girl" she said
"I mean, being your girlfriend and all I think I deserve a chance to meet your friends" she made sure to emphasize "girlfriend". I felt like I have been stabbed in the chest.

And then she KISSED him right there in front of me as if to prove a point. And the knife was twisted.
She slid into his lap and smiled a little too sweetly at me.
"Am Stella"she chirped "Augusts girlfriend and who might you be?"
"Um Stella maybe this is not the time-" Abe was cut off
"You must be the mute girl"she stated
I felt like disappearing into thin air.
"Hi am Lina" my phone said. I forced a smile
"Oh Lina that's a nice name". She should really get off his lap.
"I just wanted to-"

"Good morning class" I was relieved to here the teacher. Stella quickly got up and took the seat next to August.
"For the rest of the month we would be working on expressive art"he said
"How to put feelings into your artwork and make it mean more to you than just a drawing"

I thought back to the painting of August in the studio.

Stella tried talking to August throughout class but I felt his eyes on me the whole time. It made me self conscious so I decided to just read for the rest of class.

At the end of class I had a note in from of me. It read-

Meet me at the library during lunch?
-August
When I looked up he was already out of the class.

On my way to the library during lunch I was pulled into the girls bathroom.

"Hey you little slut" Stella
" Stay the heck away from August" she hissed
"I don't know what he sees in a little mute freak like you" I felt anger building up.
"He already has a girlfriend" she paused " a very hot one in fact" she flipped her shinny auburn hair over her shoulder.
" Just stay away from him if you value your reputation okay!" She sneered.
Leaving a terrified me inside one of the bathroom stalls.