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"You're being immature!"
"Oh I'm being immature? Says the one who doesn't tell the father of his own baby anything!"
"For the last fucking time it wasn't intentional!"
"Oh sure it wasn't, that's what they all say!"
"Who is 'they' Harry, what are you even going on about? How many fucking baby mommas you have? Talking about all of them, like there's a whole pack out there!"
"Stop yelling you're disturbing the neighbors!"
"You started yelling first!"
Harry didn't go anywhere last night. Instead he slept in his car. Any normal person would, ya know, sleep on the couch but no, someone had to take it a notch up for the dramatics of it all.
"I was gonna tell you as soon as you got home and then stuff happened! I'm sorry, what do you want me to do?" Now I am basically just pleading with him. I truly don't know what he wants me to do. I can say sorry until my throat goes dry but those are just words. Even though I mean it with ever bit of my being, they could just be meaningless.
Everything feels like it's slipping right out of my hands. All out love and trust built up feels useless now. Is this what fighting with someone you love feels like? Or is this just because I feel guilty because I know I could have told him. If I tried, I could have remembered but I didn't.
He walks over from the side of the living room where he was previously yelling at me from and walks to the couch. We have been having a never-ending screaming match for maybe an hour now, our poor unfortunate neighbors.
He sits down and rest his hands in his lap, taking a deep breath he looks back up at me. The anger and frustration that was just etched into his face has now disappeared and all that's left is sorrow.
"Do you trust me? Why do you lie to me?" His voice is soft and a little worn out. "Of course I trust you, why'd you even ask something like that? And I'm not lying to you Harry, please believe me." I walk over near to him and sit down but I keep a bit of distance between us. "Doesn't seem like it."
This breaks me. His voice is so quiet and timid like he is afraid that I really don't. I trust more than I trust myself honestly. None of this fight was him mad at me about taking that medicine. He knows that I didn't know when I was first pregnant and he knows I could have possibly produced the side-effects. He is upset because he doesn't think I trust him with this stuff. Like if he isn't there to hear it himself, I'll never bring it up, like he isn't worth me telling him things that also effect him.
"Harry, please, I swear I forgot. I truly have had scatter brain. I tell you everything. With my mom showing up when I got home and then this past week I've just been feeling disgusting, it really did just slip my mind. The doctor said she will be okay and not to stress about it, I am so sorry." I feel like my voice might crack any minute but it doesn't. I have been fighting my emotions lately. Between my hormones and my arms pains I have been a mess, so now every time I want to cry or feel the need to cry, I suck it back up.
